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'If I get like that, put me in a home'

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,147
0
Thanks @Bikerbeth. The visiting policy is a pain as I can only go on Tuesdays or Saturdays and the next few of those are booked up with things that I've planned such as meeting friends, something I only realised after I'd sorted out dates etc.. I do find visiting tricky as mum wants to wander and they want you to stay in the same room. I also can't go up to her room, which would be useful as I could sort things out. I'd like to properly get to know the carers and other residents too. The home have been good at phoning up to check on things and tell me what's going on though.
The latest is mum not eating very much so she's on ensure shakes and the home's kitchen is going to try to whip up some nice shakes for her to drink too.
We're loving living here. Both my husband and I have joined clubs for things we are interested in and my friend that was already living here keeps inviting me to interesting things. I've just seen an email pop up inviting me to a 'Disco for Grown Ups.' I went to one with her a few weeks ago and it was fun, even if most of the music was from after my disco going days. I must be very grown up!
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,147
0
I went to see mum today and it was one of the best visits in a while. Her voice was much louder and although I understood more or less nothing of what she said, she seemed very happy to see me and even mentioned my name, something I haven't heard in a while. They had a member of staff dedicated to sorting out the visits so I asked just to be given fifteen minutes which was fine.
She's looking quite good, though it would help if her previous home found her missing teeth. She's also had her hair cut, so looked rather more like mum.
It's a right pain that visiting is so limited though.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,114
0
Bedford
So pleased you had a good visit. It does make a difference.
It does sound like your Mum has settled well there.
Pleased to hear that the move has also worked for you - keep on boogie - ing :)
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,147
0
I had a phone call from local social services yesterday regarding the fall mum had a few weeks ago. When I asked exactly who she was I discovered she was from the safeguarding team, but didn't like to introduce herself as that as it worried relatives. She was excellent and explained what the home had put in place to try and make sure mum doesn't have more falls, including breakfast in bed and trying to make sure she uses the walking frame. I'm surprised the home didn't phone me to tell me the same thing, but I'm happy that they referred themselves to safeguarding and are taking things seriously.
Reading between the lines I think mum is probably as feisty as ever. As I explained she was always an assertive woman, who, unlike me, could make difficult decisions at work without turning a hair. She did it all with charm, something that is now lost though the toughness remains.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,114
0
Bedford
That does sound good that the home are looking and finding solutions to try and stop your Mum having falls. I hope they do the trick
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,147
0
I went to see mum yesterday. Her voice is still stronger, though I still can't understand a lot of what she says. What I did understand was mum being rather cross, not wanting to be there and wanting to live on her own. There was a certain amount of cushion bashing too. I helped the carer move her to a wheelchair to go back to her floor at the end of the visit and her mobility is very bad now.
I do so wish this pandemic would end. It would be so much easier if I could visit mum in her room, sort out her stuff and chat to staff and other residents to get a feel as to how things really are.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,147
0
Our original Christmas plan was my brother, his wife and son would come up on Christmas Day and then they would visit mum on Boxing Day. Our son, who was also visiting, tested positive on Christmas Day so that scuppered that plan.
Sister in Law texted me this afternoon to say they were now thinking of visiting tomorrow and seeing mum on Tuesday. Fine with us, so I suggested she phone the home to book themselves in.
Now comes the interesting part. She phoned me up to tell me mum has covid and that I would have been told. Oh no I hadn't. As they obviously wouldn't tell her how mum was, I phoned to find out more. I got lots of apologies as they realised that, no, they hadn't told me. I think SIL gave them a bit of a hard time, as they sounded as though they expected me to be very cross with them. I know the home is short staffed and if a few residents are ill they must be busier than ever. so I was nice about it. Mum is as fine as a nearly 94 year old with advanced dementia can be. Still not eating a lot (just jam sandwiches) but drinking fortified shakes so obviously not at the end of life stage.
My brother's family is still coming to see us, which will be fun, though a shame our son is now back home, so will miss seeing his cousin. Due to the age gap our son is more like an uncle, and my nephew really misses seeing him.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,147
0
Hi @Bikerbeth , lovely to hear from you. I hope your mum is doing OK and her home has at last sorted out a stable management team.
Mum sounds fine, but the home keeps on getting cases of covid so they aren't open at the moment. I could apply to be an essential care giver I guess, but I really think I'd just be getting in everyone's way and as mum doesn't recognise me I don't really see the point. I'm happy as long as she is settled, and it sounds like she is as settled as much as she can be.
Brother and family came to visit for the night on the 3rd and it was lovely to see them in person. My brother is still pretty frail so spent a lot of time in bed, but at least our new house is big enough that we could tuck him away, and the rest of us could get on with having fun.