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'If I get like that, put me in a home'

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
6,051
0
Chester
Well done on completing the move. It's been a long process ( your house move and then your mum's).

I hope she does settle well, some carer's do get a bit maudlin, and just because your mum has gone down a step recently it doesn't mean she will not plateau for a bit.

I made a decision to move my mum near me as I knew with my busy life I wouldn't cope otherwise. My mum did miss her friends, and at the time I do think she would have had visits if she'd been in similar accommodation, although as she deteriorated I'm sure these would have petered out. She did say she understood that she had to be near me but did miss her friends.

It would be a long way to travel for hospital appts etc if you hadn't moved her and a heavy burden on you. I'm guessing your brother is some way off regular visits even if he wanted to so it's a good decision.

Don't forget that it may take weeks/several months to settle in the new place, but she will settle as best as her dementia allows.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,685
0
Thanks everyone. When I moved mum near where I used to live she was some way from her local friends, but not all of her friends lived near her anyway. A couple did visit, but didn't seem inclined to repeat the experience. I doubt she'd recognise them now. They are still interested in hearing how she is second hand, so I must email them and tell them her new address.
I feel happier now she's just down the road, and I think she will settle better now things have progressed than she did when she moved into her original home.
Most annoying thing is her teeth have gone AWOL. Home have promised to send them on when they turn up, which they probably will.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
74,363
0
Kent
Well done @Sarasa. I imagine it was an ordeal for you and hope you are feeling some relief even if you`re not sure yet how your mum will settle.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,685
0
Just phoned the home. Mum had a very settled night, and is still in bed, though she's had her morning meds and a cup of tea. It sounds like she is going to fit right in. The home is similar to mum's old one, but built on a more generous plot, so more spaces to wander, which will be good for her.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,685
0
I went to see mum today. The home hasn't relaxed visiting restrictions as much as mum's old home which is a bit of a pain, but at least it wasn't a dreaded 'pod' visit. In fact it was one of the nicest visits I've had with mum in a while. She seems very content and relaxed and although I haven't the foggiest about most of what she said none of it sounds angry or worried. I think she likes the new set of carers. She also looked clean and tidy, which means she's letting them shower her etc.
Yesterday the nurse practitioner that calls in every Friday phoned to ask a few questions regarding mum's DNR form. She seemed very nice, and it's good to know mum will have an eye kept on her.
 
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Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
2,021
0
High Peak
Mum was moved a couple of times (to a different room/floor) in her care home and at the time I played merry hell with them, thinking it would disturb mum. It didn't. The layout was completely different on each floor and the view from her window completely diferent too, so she assumed she'd moved to a different place.

I think depending on what stage the person is at, a move can be really successful and not too disturbing for the PWD. (Luck of the draw really!) I'm sure having your mum nearby will be really good for your peace of mind too.
 

Chaplin

Registered User
May 24, 2015
142
0
Bristol
Thanks everyone. When I moved mum near where I used to live she was some way from her local friends, but not all of her friends lived near her anyway. A couple did visit, but didn't seem inclined to repeat the experience. I doubt she'd recognise them now. They are still interested in hearing how she is second hand, so I must email them and tell them her new address.
I feel happier now she's just down the road, and I think she will settle better now things have progressed than she did when she moved into her original home.
Most annoying thing is her teeth have gone AWOL. Home have promised to send them on when they turn up, which they probably will.
Glad your mum is settling into her new home and you’ve already had a nice visit. On the teeth front, same thing happened with my mum. We had new set made and hey presto, her old ones were wrapped in tissue in her fleece pocket which also went through the washing machine! Might be worth a look.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,685
0
Another visit to mum today. The home is being much stricter with visiting than mum's previous home, or the one my mother in law has just moved into, so I again I could only see her in the garden room. Mum had other ideas and went for a bit of a wander. She is very stooped now, and her mobility is very poor. As per usual I really can't understand what she says but she did say 'Well I'm still here' when I asked her how she was, so she's still in there somewhere.
Annoyingly they were obviously very short staffed as I had to go chasing around to find someone to get her back to her floor. However the staff seem very pleasant, and the atmosphere calm.
I haven't booked another visit yet. I think that once a fortnight is probably enough until things open up a bit and I can just pop in as and when.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,685
0
Well I chickened out of visiting mum until today. Arrived in good time so they could do the lateral flow test and had a nice chat with the front of house manager. I was due to see mum in the garden room (the home still hasn't opened up much), but then the manager popped in to say mum had just had a fall and they'd called the ambulance as she said her leg hurt and she wasn't moving it. Decided rather than wait till ambulance had been to come home. They wouldn't have let me up to her floor, and now mum doesn't recognise me, I'm not sure how much help I could have been anyway. This is the second fall this month. Mum is very unsteady on her feet now, but she walks a lot and rarely uses a walker, so falls seem inevitable. I'm hoping once she is checked over that no harm has been done and she doesn't have to go to hospital. If she does the hospital is across the road from the home, and as the manager said their visiting policy is probably less restrictive.
It's all a worry though.