If a doctor says someone should go in to a care home
- Thread starter sirpandip
- Start date
Hi @sirpandip, welcome to Dementia Talking Point. This is a very friendly community and you'll get lots of help and advice here.
I don't know that it is a legal requirement that you have to do what the doctor says as such, but it is advice that I think would be unwise to dismiss lightly. Without more details it's difficult to comment more but maybe my own family's recent experience as outlined below may help.
My mother in law lived at home for many years with help from my brother in law, who didn't live with her but visited at least twice a day. When her needs increased he was loathe to get any help in. By then my husband felt a care home would be more appropriate as MiL was on her own for long periods of time and could do little for herself. BiL and one sister in law were very against that happening, as they felt their mother was so attached to her home, so reluctantly carers were introduced. This worked well for a time. However after a few months the company said they thought MiL's needed more care than they could provide. The doctor and social worker agreed, and she moved into a home where she seems to be very settled and certainly much better looked after than she used to be. I don't even think she has noticed she is living somewhere else. The family could have ignored the advice and found another company but I think it would have been to the detriment of my MiL's well-being.
I know the thought of a care home can be distressing and it isn't what any of us want for our loved ones, but it is sometimes what they need.
I don't know that it is a legal requirement that you have to do what the doctor says as such, but it is advice that I think would be unwise to dismiss lightly. Without more details it's difficult to comment more but maybe my own family's recent experience as outlined below may help.
My mother in law lived at home for many years with help from my brother in law, who didn't live with her but visited at least twice a day. When her needs increased he was loathe to get any help in. By then my husband felt a care home would be more appropriate as MiL was on her own for long periods of time and could do little for herself. BiL and one sister in law were very against that happening, as they felt their mother was so attached to her home, so reluctantly carers were introduced. This worked well for a time. However after a few months the company said they thought MiL's needed more care than they could provide. The doctor and social worker agreed, and she moved into a home where she seems to be very settled and certainly much better looked after than she used to be. I don't even think she has noticed she is living somewhere else. The family could have ignored the advice and found another company but I think it would have been to the detriment of my MiL's well-being.
I know the thought of a care home can be distressing and it isn't what any of us want for our loved ones, but it is sometimes what they need.
Yes, you can do this, but it is not the easy option.
Please research what would be involved, whether you would have to cover holidays, sickness and the legally required 2 hour break during the day. Would you want to use a care agency, or a private carer? If you choose a private carer it will be up to you to make sure that they are suitable and you may have to organise tax, NI etc (in essence you will be the employer). It can be very expensive, especially if you will also need a night carer because the other carer will need to sleep. Social Services are very unlikely to fund live-in care.
Live-in care may well be more expensive than a care home. If you are prepared to engage / employ a carer directly (which I, personally, would never do) then it will be cheaper but you will have to deal with problems / absences yourself, and there is the risk that you might be classed as an employer with all that that entails.
If the PWD requires attention more than a couple of times at night you will have to engage / employ a second ‘waking night’ carer.
Another thing is that you should carry out gas and electrical safety checks before the carer moves in. In my elderly friend’s case the latter has revealed a whole list of non-compliances which will cost thousands to put right. You also need to inform the house insurers that someone is moving in.
If the PWD requires attention more than a couple of times at night you will have to engage / employ a second ‘waking night’ carer.
Another thing is that you should carry out gas and electrical safety checks before the carer moves in. In my elderly friend’s case the latter has revealed a whole list of non-compliances which will cost thousands to put right. You also need to inform the house insurers that someone is moving in.
If the person lacks capacity does any have any power to move them to the UK from Southern Ireland, I'm assuming Southern Ireland because Northern Ireland is in the UK.
Even moving from Northern Ireland could have problems.
