Ideas please on managing poo problems better

Thebestoo

Account Closed
Dec 26, 2014
8
Sorry to go back to basics on new year's Eve - and wishing you all a happy New year as best we all can !
I am hoping it is just the disruption of the holiday period - but fear not - my OH has started to refuse to sit on the toilet - inevitably that has meant a fair number of poo disasters over the last couple of weeks. He can't explain except to say the bathroom is cold - not so, and white - yes. But he is OK about showering in there so the struggle is about the toilet. Right I though we will get a commode which he can use in the bedroom - it arrived today and he viewed it with grave suspicion - refused to sit on it, and yet again pooed while resting after lunch.
I think he tries very hard never to go, as most times he poos while in bed - presumably while he is asleep, or at least dozy. If he kept his pad in that would be less of a problem but he takes often takes his pad 'to keep it clean' :eek: .
As you can imagine no amount of discussion is helping solve this one and I am not coping with it at all well - too easily getting upset and cross which is no use at all.
Any ideas would be very appreciated.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,830
London
Does he maybe suffer from constipation which he can't articulate? He might have to strain so much that he tries to avoid going at all. It's not logical but then what is with dementia. Stool softeners might help, the ones we use come in sachets and look like fruit juice when mixed with water so you might not even have to admit to him the purpose of this drink!
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,525
North East England
I've heard that a red toilet seat can sometimes work - would this be worth a go do you think? If everything is white he may be unable to 'see' the target area to sit down on. Just a thought which I know has been suggested on other threads, so I thought I'd mention it.
 

halojones

Registered User
May 7, 2014
438
What an awful problem..I have read about getting a person into a onesie for the night , as then they can't undo it and take the protection/pads off, but first ask others if they have tried this, as I have only read about it, so far i don't have this problem , and you have my sympathy.(although mum did use to wash her face with her pooie knickers.:eek: and still would if i dont stop her :eek:)I also think a red or a dark toilet seat would help..I think you might need to be really firm with him as well, sometimes my sister would be really quite bossy/firm with mum, and mum did comply...What about telling him he has to go and sit on the toilet, the doctor said so ? ,especially before bedtime, re traing him really.......Unfortunately and sadly poo stories are quite common, ..in fact i am worrying about mums movements right now.....I do hope you can get this problem sorted out...Good Luck...xxx
 
Last edited:

memaggie2

Registered User
Nov 9, 2014
60
scotland
if your OH will not sit on the loo try using pull up pants instead of underpants ...he is less likely to take it off than a pad and they are very good at 'keeping it all together' they tear up the sides so you can pull it out hopefully taking most of the poo with it as you go . Flannels, shower gel and warm water are best for cleaning up whats left ...wishing you well

regards

Maggie
 

AlsoConfused

Registered User
Sep 17, 2010
1,953
No advice, only deepest sympathy from a part-time carer also nauseated by poo being spread all around.
 

Thebestoo

Account Closed
Dec 26, 2014
8
Does he maybe suffer from constipation which he can't articulate? He might have to strain so much that he tries to avoid going at all. It's not logical but then what is with dementia. Stool softeners might help, the ones we use come in sachets and look like fruit juice when mixed with water so you might not even have to admit to him the purpose of this drink!
I think you are right that is probably what started things off in this direction. He has had very bad constipation in the past and we do use those sachets - I don't seem to get the balance right between him being too loose :eek::eek:. Or leaving it and then finding he is struggling again - and probably that discomfort is what he is trying to avoid , bless him. Can't blame him really, just wish he understood that refusing to go only leads to it being worse and it has to happen!
Also his eating is poor and erratic which can't help the throughput!
 

Thebestoo

Account Closed
Dec 26, 2014
8
thanks all, think I will try altering the colour of the loo seat and see if that does make a difference- anything is worth a go - will try fablon as it is a special raised one and I have not seen them in anything other than white.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,830
London
I think you are right that is probably what started things off in this direction. He has had very bad constipation in the past and we do use those sachets - I don't seem to get the balance right between him being too loose :eek::eek:. Or leaving it and then finding he is struggling again - and probably that discomfort is what he is trying to avoid , bless him. Can't blame him really, just wish he understood that refusing to go only leads to it being worse and it has to happen!
Also his eating is poor and erratic which can't help the throughput!
It's one sachet in the morning and one in the evening here - we get them on repeat prescription.
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
70
Durham