ideas on getting mum to GP

[Noaksie1]

Hi - My mum is showing many signs of dementia but I don't know how to suggest she sees her GP for tests. I'm happy to accompany her, but I'm worried she will be upset/angry if I sugegst it. I believe she is unaware that anything is the matter. Any ideas/suggestions would be most welcome.

Many thanks.

 

[Onlyme]

How about suggesting an elderly persons MOT so the Dr can check over all her aches and pains?

Sorry, I have just noticed this is your first post. Welcome to Talking Point.

 

[trakand01]

Hi there,

How old is your mum? We had the same issues with my nannan in getting her to the doctors because she is very defensive and a little agressive about her condition - i believe she is in denial.

My grandpa used the excuse of an MOT on her a couple of years ago and that worked, I just wish the doctor had appreciated the problem and done something about it! I would recommend trying to have a telephone conversation with the doctor prior to the meeting so that you don't have to sit in front of your mum and say 'I think my Mum has memory issues' as that could upset her.

Good luck, Sarah xx

 

[Onlyme]

The Dr may refuse to discuss your Mum with you. Write a short letter outlining your concerns and some of the strange events that have been going on and give it into the surgery a couple of days before you go with her.

 

[Christin]

Hello, perhaps a 'well woman' check with the GP would work, and as suggested you could send a letter beforehand, just outlining your concerns. Best wishes
x

 

[Noaksie1]

Hi - Thank you all so much for your replies to my very 1st post.

My mum is 74. There have been fairly subtle changes in her behaviour & personality over the last few years, but I'm becoming increasingly worried. Apart from her poor memory, she gets very confused about people & places & has become fairly disinterested in many things she used to enjoy.

I will write a letter to her GP giving examples & suggest going for an MOT type check up.

Thanks again
T

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Hello Noaksie, and welcome to Talking Point (TP).

Another important point - do you have Power of Attorney for your mother? I believe it is called LPA in the UK. If you don't, I suggest you get it as soon as possible. Your mother will probably be loath to sign such a document but I suggest you present it as being "in case you're in an accident or something happens to you so the government doesn't get to decide what to do".

If your mother's will needs updating, I suggest you have your mother do that while she's still capable of doing so.

I don't mean to go on about legal and financial matters but later on it can make a great difference and save you a lot of trouble.

 

[Lainey]

Hi Noaksie
This is also my first post although I do read the posts every day. Before my mum was diagnosed my sister, myself and my dad had all notice changes in mum. They all seemed with small but when you added them together it was massive.
My sister and I had made 2 appointments with mum's GP probably about a year apart and cancelled both of them because we didn't want mum to be upset or annoyed as mum never mentioned anything to us. However, after mum broke her hip things became more obvious and then we felt guilty for not going to the GP early and getting medication. We didn't take mum to the GP we just wrote absolutely everything we could think of down and we took it to the GP. Just by reading it she said she would refer mum to a memory clinic. When the appointment came through I spoke to the consultant and said that under no circumstances was he to mention memory, dementia, alzheimers in front of mum. I told mum it was an over 65 clinic to check on her current medication and general health (which wasn't really a lie as he did do all these things). At the end of the appointment he said as part of the consultation would mum mind doing a quick memory test. Mum said no problem at all. He then phoned me after the appointment to say he wanted mum to have a brain scan. Again mum was happy to go along with this. He phoned with the result approximately a year ago to say it was Alzheimers. Mum is naturally a very easy going gentle person so maybe this is why this worked for us.
Good luck xxxx

 

[Meercat]

Hi Noaksie

Welcome to tp.

I sent an e-mail to my M's doctor detailing her symptoms and behaviours.
I put that I thought it could be depression or dementia or both and please could the doctor do blood tests (to rule out vitamin B deficiency?) and a mini mental state test.

The plan was to take my Mum to the doctors, however this part of the plan mis-fired!! as my M got very distressed by us suggesting it might be a good idea to pop and see him - so I had to cancel the appointment I'd made.

However, we were very lucky as the Doctor's surgery called my M in for a blood test and an appointment after I returned home!!!
She went and then got referred to memory clinic.

I also mentioned in the e-mail that we were concerned about her ability to care for herself in her home and that we'd need advice in the future. However, a social worker visited my m's home to talk about the Memory clinic appointment and I'm quite sure she cast an eye over the house as she offered a cleaner
Unfortunately my M refused

This may be of help to you, although my M isn't under NHS, I'm positive e-mail/letter is a really good idea because even if you don't get to the doctors they have it on record. When my M went to the Memory clinic they had copies of e-mails I had sent.

Good luck
Meercat