Hi everyone, my dads in early stages. Hes 84 and fairly good for his age..but now he cant drive. He dosent like being outside in the cold anymore but he was always a very mechanical man always fixing an engine or lawnmower or outside trimming hedges and gardening....he now spends his days in the armchair either asleep or watching YouTube videos of his hobbies, hes not into the idea of mens sheds, tea rooms, says he hasnt delicate hands to build model engines, wont do jigsaw, no interest in painting, his eyesight is failing so he cant read for long anymore....I'm at a loss to know what I can suggest for him...I agreed if hed like to go Anywhere as I could drive us while my kids are at school but again no.....I feel bad just letting him sit there all day...hes not one for conversation and theres not much to talk about with the two of us sat there all the time.....any ideas??
Ideas needed to entertain him
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Hi, Don't know if you live with your Dad or not. I live with my mum and I give her little jobs, pairing up socks, peeling the veg , while she is still sitting in her armchair. You could also try audio books.
Hi yes i do live with him, ideally I'd like to get him out of the chair but that's not gonna happen it seems. He likes to wash the dishes for me after dinner..so maybe I'll let him peel the veg too!!
I wondered if this factsheets would be of any help -
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/staying-independent/activity-ideas-dementia
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/staying-independent/activity-ideas-dementia
I had a drawer for my husband. I filled it with bits and pieces, useful things and rubbish but nothing of value. When my husband got restless and nothing would occupy him I’d go to the drawer and complain @bout the mess it was in and I could never find what I wanted.
I asked him if he would sort it for me and gave him a basket to put the rubbish in. He would spend five minutes and be fed up or an hour just looking at things and sorting. He was for ever saying he had spent days looking for something and here it was in the drawer. When he had finished and we had celebrated a job well done with tea and cake I would take a look in the basket and it was always a surprise as to what he thought of as rubbish one week and what he thought was rubbish the next week. I just tipped it all back in ready for when I needed it again. He liked counting coins too.
I asked him if he would sort it for me and gave him a basket to put the rubbish in. He would spend five minutes and be fed up or an hour just looking at things and sorting. He was for ever saying he had spent days looking for something and here it was in the drawer. When he had finished and we had celebrated a job well done with tea and cake I would take a look in the basket and it was always a surprise as to what he thought of as rubbish one week and what he thought was rubbish the next week. I just tipped it all back in ready for when I needed it again. He liked counting coins too.
Aww that's a lovely idea, hes not at that stage just yet though but I definitely will keep that in mind as he progresses...what a unique idea, thanks.
Just a thought, but are you asking him whether he would like to do these things?
If you you ask someone with dementia whether they would like to do something, the default answer is almost invariably no! If he is actually able to do things, but says he doesnt want to, you might try just organising something and assume its a done deal.
If you you ask someone with dementia whether they would like to do something, the default answer is almost invariably no! If he is actually able to do things, but says he doesnt want to, you might try just organising something and assume its a done deal.
Hi canary, my dads a very old fashioned kind of man, stubborn, intimidating can be very very blunt...hes never been good at expressing himself..he likes to keep to his small circle of friends, not open to new things..never has been. Hes very early stages in his dementia 76/100 last year on camcog test..so far it's really just that hes getting muddled with words and following conversations...hes very much 'with it' still...so hes not the type I can easily get to do anything.
Has your Dad indicated that he is bored and wants things to do? If he's happy just sitting watching programmes about hobbies, sleeping and helping you with the washing up perhaps that is enough for him. Sometimes the need for activities and something to do all the time comes from the needs of the carer rather than the person with dementia. Not suggesting that it's the case here but sometimes those with dementia don't want a lot of activities as they can't cope with too much mental stimulation. Maybe try showing him old photos or look through magazines or picture books relating to his hobbies, but try not to focus too much on having to find him activities if he doesn't actually want to do them.
Maybe your right, that's a good point.. he says hes grand and dosent want to do anything, but when hes on his phone to his brothers or friends he'll say sure what the hell can I do only sit on me **** doing nothing. I can't drive and I have to rely on everyone.(everyone being me cos nobody else has offered to take him anywhere) so it's hard to know..when I ask if hed like to do something to pass the time he says no hes fine as he is.
I have a similar problem with my husband. Now he can't drive he doesn't have much to do. He can still take the dog for a walk and buy a paper but doesn't do much else apart from help me chop veg for dinner. He never was the most sociable of people and didn't play golf or go to football matches or anything. I bought him a small airfix model but he gave up after putting a couple of pieces together. Is your dad able to go out? Could be manage a short walk or could you take him out for a coffee? Would he like to do a simple jigsaw? It is hard when they are no longer able to do the things they once did.
My dad is a bit the same - not a 'day centre activity' or 'puzzle/games' type of person and loves the garden. I am fortunate in that he will go to a tea room and likes a walk, though he's not good in the cold either. It's this time of year that is the worst, but he takes a real pleasure in just being able to look out in the garden at the birds. I gather from your post that your dad likes the outdoors and maybe he already has a bird feeding station, but if he hasn't I would really recommend setting one up with him. If he no longer has a garden, a simple window feeder that has suckers would do the job, though it takes a while for the birds to get used to it. You could also make your own fat balls using suet and mixed seed - things like that.
I had an idea to make a next box with my dad this year, but he is a bit too far gone to do the carpentry so my partner made the box and I got my dad to help me paint it. (You can buy kits online too, or ready-made boxes you can paint at home). Just another suggestion; it's a matter of finding those little things that they can still do without too much stress and anxiety.
And I agree with one of the other respondents - dementia sufferers don't always agree to things you might suggest, so if you said one day to your dad 'come on, we're going out for a drive' I expect he would go. I often say we're going on a 'magical mystery tour' if it's a horrid day and we can't do much - my dad loves just being driven around looking at things and he often remembers a few things from his past along the way that we can talk about.
If your dad has a bus pass I've been told that a 'carer' can travel free with them, so that may also be an option. My dad lives in Oxfordshire, so I guess it may be not be the case in all counties, so best check that out first.
Other things that may interest him: indoor gardens - I'm thinking botanical gardens with greenhouses (Kew, Eden or nearest botanic if you have one); aquarium; any kind of wildlife centre with animals that need heat! (We live fairly near the Rainforest Centre near Newbury and that's a godsend at this time of year - tropical heat and a lot of interesting things to see).
Also, dvds can be good for keeping them happy for an hour or two. My dad can't follow storylines in films or dramas, but he loves wildlife programmes and dog programmes, so I buy them 2nd hand online and he then has something to watch without having to endure adverts and the daft programmes on the TV.
Anyway, that's a few suggestions. Hope they help.
I had an idea to make a next box with my dad this year, but he is a bit too far gone to do the carpentry so my partner made the box and I got my dad to help me paint it. (You can buy kits online too, or ready-made boxes you can paint at home). Just another suggestion; it's a matter of finding those little things that they can still do without too much stress and anxiety.
And I agree with one of the other respondents - dementia sufferers don't always agree to things you might suggest, so if you said one day to your dad 'come on, we're going out for a drive' I expect he would go. I often say we're going on a 'magical mystery tour' if it's a horrid day and we can't do much - my dad loves just being driven around looking at things and he often remembers a few things from his past along the way that we can talk about.
If your dad has a bus pass I've been told that a 'carer' can travel free with them, so that may also be an option. My dad lives in Oxfordshire, so I guess it may be not be the case in all counties, so best check that out first.
Other things that may interest him: indoor gardens - I'm thinking botanical gardens with greenhouses (Kew, Eden or nearest botanic if you have one); aquarium; any kind of wildlife centre with animals that need heat! (We live fairly near the Rainforest Centre near Newbury and that's a godsend at this time of year - tropical heat and a lot of interesting things to see).
Also, dvds can be good for keeping them happy for an hour or two. My dad can't follow storylines in films or dramas, but he loves wildlife programmes and dog programmes, so I buy them 2nd hand online and he then has something to watch without having to endure adverts and the daft programmes on the TV.
Anyway, that's a few suggestions. Hope they help.
