Iam in limbo now waiting to see whats going to happen and when.

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by ASPIRE, Jan 23, 2015.

  1. ASPIRE

    ASPIRE Registered User

    Jan 9, 2014
    16
    cambridge
    My wife got to the stage of after 5 years of me caring for her with Azheimers got very aggressive towards me and has for the last 2 months been on a specialist mental health ward who are trying different drugs to calm her.
    This is a blow for me we have been together for 50 years and the talk is that she will go into a care home after she is stablised and not come back to me.
    l am allowed to visit her on the ward when l like but some of the visits are upsetting for her when l want to leave. I have been told it would be better if l didnt come so often so as not to upset her and give them more of a chance to calm her with no outside distractions.
    I do look forward to the visits and l do feel guilty if l don,t visit her. she was all l had lam now on my own just waiting for the next stage of whatever is going to happen.
    The visits were keeping my spirits up and helping me to plan my days. This situation could last quite a while, it cant be rushed. l am still clinging onto a slither of hope that she will be allowed to come back to me, for me to look after her.
    l am finding it hard to adapting to living on my own. Any comments please. Aspire
     
  2. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    856
    WEST SUSSEX
    Thinking of you Aspire, with your sad news about your Wife. Bear with the medical people while they get her stabilised and take heart from the fact, like so many of us have had to before you, that if your Wife does go into a Care Home your visits hopefully will become more meaningful as you will not be having to look after her personal care, run the home and make time for yourself. Very hard after fifty years but you must stay strong now for both of you.

    Loving thoughts for you both - WIFE
     
  3. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Agree with WIFE. It's very hard but you will be able visit in future. You will feel very isolated at first. We too have been married 50 years and it has been 6 months since my husband entered his CH. The guilt has lessened slightly recently as I see him contented and well cared for after about 6/8 weeks of unhappiness but I would still bring him home if I could. Am just beginning to make an effort to be more sociable and rejoining activities I had to leave in order to care for him but still miss him dreadfully. However I know I am lucky still to have him and be able to see him. So am making the most of my visits and our time together. Sorry I can't be more positive but hope things improve for you.

    Sent from my GT-N5110
     

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