I've raised the subject of respite on this forum before. I have to go away next week, and husband is now not capabable of surviving at home with home care. At first he demurred, but then agreed to go to a local care home for a week. He has been taken to see it, and signed the paperwork. He is due to go in on Monday. I leave Sunday morning, but a neighbour is giving him dinner and his Alz Support befriender is taking him in on Monday. Last night, he said he absolutely would not go. At his age, he wanted to sleep at home, not go somewhere where he did not know anyone. This is a man who travelled for a living, and is very sociable.
Very ugly scenes ensued. I am going on a course that could bring us in an income after four very lean years, and it is something I not only really want to do but have now invested a considerable amount of money in. I do everything for him, and all I am asking is for him to face the fear and put up with one week in a different place to the one he is used to.
I'm not sure I can hack this much more. I gave him the stark alternative of co-operating, and giving me some support, or I would start divorce proceedings. That would mean the house he so wants to stay in being sold, me buying somewhere smaller, and him going into care full time. This may sound cruel, but it is actually now getting near the truth.
I am sure when he gets there the home will not be the hell he imagines, but am now desperately on edge and worried, as I see action replays of the horrors of last night happening over and over again between now and Sunday, and even then when I set off for the airport I will not be certain he will go, although he will probably behave better with Philip from AS than with me. He just is not safe on his own at home. What do I do?
Very ugly scenes ensued. I am going on a course that could bring us in an income after four very lean years, and it is something I not only really want to do but have now invested a considerable amount of money in. I do everything for him, and all I am asking is for him to face the fear and put up with one week in a different place to the one he is used to.
I'm not sure I can hack this much more. I gave him the stark alternative of co-operating, and giving me some support, or I would start divorce proceedings. That would mean the house he so wants to stay in being sold, me buying somewhere smaller, and him going into care full time. This may sound cruel, but it is actually now getting near the truth.
I am sure when he gets there the home will not be the hell he imagines, but am now desperately on edge and worried, as I see action replays of the horrors of last night happening over and over again between now and Sunday, and even then when I set off for the airport I will not be certain he will go, although he will probably behave better with Philip from AS than with me. He just is not safe on his own at home. What do I do?