Hello I have not been on for awhile but today I feel like I need to just let go of how I feel. Mum has VD and A and has been in NH for a year now before that very sheltered accom.
Last September we were called to the NH three times because they thought mum was near the end only for her to pick up but not to the degree she had been. Mum has not been out of bed since then can no longer really speak eats only jelly, cream shots, and maybe only every other day a liquid meal. She is all skin and bones and a horrible yellow colour. Today on my visit she could just open her eyes and her breathing was very slow to the point sometimes I thought she had stopped breathing. She is comfortable and well looked after. Here is the thing I just wish that she would just slip away I would miss her more than I can say but I hate going to see her like she is. I lost the mum I had and have just some one I can no longer speak to. I sit here sometimes and think I will phone mum only to remember I can't do that now. I hate feeling like this I wish I could take it all away for her. Thank you for reading this as I know there are a lot of us out there all feeling the same.
Last September we were called to the NH three times because they thought mum was near the end only for her to pick up but not to the degree she had been. Mum has not been out of bed since then can no longer really speak eats only jelly, cream shots, and maybe only every other day a liquid meal. She is all skin and bones and a horrible yellow colour. Today on my visit she could just open her eyes and her breathing was very slow to the point sometimes I thought she had stopped breathing. She is comfortable and well looked after. Here is the thing I just wish that she would just slip away I would miss her more than I can say but I hate going to see her like she is. I lost the mum I had and have just some one I can no longer speak to. I sit here sometimes and think I will phone mum only to remember I can't do that now. I hate feeling like this I wish I could take it all away for her. Thank you for reading this as I know there are a lot of us out there all feeling the same.