My father has late stage dementia and has the full works of symptoms. He lost his appetite but now after medication it has returned and he's constantly asking for food. Must be his memory. He is very restless all day and night. Agitated and repeats himself again and again. He's pacing up and down and that's driving me and my mum mad. He won't do any activities anymore. I've tried and he just looks the other way. He's shouting and waking us up asking for food and cigs constantly. He's incontinent which is hard!
Finally we are getting help but that will take time. However, what I really wanted to get off my chest is THE GUILT. I can't explain how bad I feel. I'm constantly shouting at my dad and so is my mum. I go to bed crying saying I will be more patient tomorrow but it happens again the next day. I'm patient for an hour or so but after constant questioning and behavioural issues I start to shout. Out of frustration I sometimes shake him and ask pathetic questions like 'what is wrong with You?', 'why are you doing this?' Etc etc. I'm deeply ashamed but I do it and then cry in the bathroom by myself.
Why can't I stop? I feel like my personality has changed and all relationships are effected. I look at my mum and feel sad for her and try to make it easy. Usually in the morning I'm shouting and then calmer in the evening and my mum is calmer in the morning and finds it difficult in the evening. Our day is just about dad and frankly we are exhausted. This has gone on for 4 years. Finally I give up and am asking for help.
I need some tips as to how to make it easy for my dad and tips on how to be a better daughter to him.
Me and my mum both are suffering from medical conditions and illnesses and are trying to be healthy mentally and physically so that we can look after dad but I fear We're gonna crash and burn.
I think it's the guilt that I'm not a good carer that is killing me.
Finally we are getting help but that will take time. However, what I really wanted to get off my chest is THE GUILT. I can't explain how bad I feel. I'm constantly shouting at my dad and so is my mum. I go to bed crying saying I will be more patient tomorrow but it happens again the next day. I'm patient for an hour or so but after constant questioning and behavioural issues I start to shout. Out of frustration I sometimes shake him and ask pathetic questions like 'what is wrong with You?', 'why are you doing this?' Etc etc. I'm deeply ashamed but I do it and then cry in the bathroom by myself.
Why can't I stop? I feel like my personality has changed and all relationships are effected. I look at my mum and feel sad for her and try to make it easy. Usually in the morning I'm shouting and then calmer in the evening and my mum is calmer in the morning and finds it difficult in the evening. Our day is just about dad and frankly we are exhausted. This has gone on for 4 years. Finally I give up and am asking for help.
I need some tips as to how to make it easy for my dad and tips on how to be a better daughter to him.
Me and my mum both are suffering from medical conditions and illnesses and are trying to be healthy mentally and physically so that we can look after dad but I fear We're gonna crash and burn.
I think it's the guilt that I'm not a good carer that is killing me.
