1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Grommit

    Grommit Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    2,127
    Doncaster
    Having read most of the facts sheets and delved into endless websites, I thought I was starting to understand the disease a little more and was congratulating myself on being able to intrepret gestures, looks and the occasional sentence which would be totally incomprehensible to anyone other than myself.

    Over the last week,Jean has been tugging at her bra with increasing force and desperation, breathing very heavily and showing signs of distress. Ha, thinks I, it's too tight, get a new one.

    After several hours of Marks and Spencers, Evans and other outlets, numerous measuring sessions (all coming out with different sizes), it began to dawn on me that I had missed something.

    Only after checking and double checking again did I find that it was her pop socks that were cutting into her legs at the back.

    The main point of this is, that I did not realise that her brain does not now seem to be wired to different parts of her body and she cannot discern different parts of her body as entities which belong to herself.

    For instance, she has now started examining her hands very closely and trying to give them to me as if they belonged to someone else.

    Is this another facet of the disease that I have missed or is the behaviour typical in any way?
     
  2. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Grommit,
    I think it is another one of 'those things', and extremely difficult to guess at, especially where discomfort and/or pain is concerned.
    My husband oftend doesn't seem to work out where his body ends and ours start, if you see what I mean (he may be frantically rubbing his arms or legs, and then proceed to rub my hand, arm or anything else in exactly the same way ...), and frequently, when he enjoys a drink or food, he tries to communicate this by pointing somewhere into the distance.
    How absolutely awful when you can't make yourself understood.....!
     
  3. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    Grommit, it's funny you should say that , hubby and i was at mom and dads last night. [ dad in late stage of AD ]. Mom and hubby was opposite me and dad on the the setties in the living room, Dad was transfixied with reflection in the tv screen of them. Mom said what is he doing, he keep getting up and down in his seat. I said he can't understand why there is four of you instead of two. Funny how your mind works. Just shows how complex it is. He was like that last week when i visited him after work wearing my bright busy patterned work blouse. Everything must be so confusing. Jan Jan
     
  4. Grommit

    Grommit Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    2,127
    Doncaster
    Reflections

    I know exactly what you mean JanJan. Every mirror, screen and shiny surface in our house is now covered as Jean used to spend every waking moment staring at herself, waving to herself, offering sweets, food and drink to herself and then gradually getting very argumentative and violent with the reflection.

    All the curtains have to be drawn early, before reflections can be observed now the dark nights are coming.

    I have to go through the ritual of uncovering the bathroom mirror, when she is not about, to shave every morning.

    Travelling in the car is difficult as she can see herself in the passenger window when night falls.

    I have nearly forgotten what I look like.
     
  5. catm

    catm Registered User

    Jun 13, 2006
    14
    Merseyside
    That sounds so familiar! I had to cover all mirrors, pictures etc at my house too when mom was able to get about. You wonder some days if your hair is all over the place and your face is clean when you go out! And I know exactly what you mean about forgetting what you look like. It's terrible that the best we can do is look extremely carefully and guess if something seems to be bothering them. Mom told me it was time I was going back to school earlier today! I'm almost 35 for pete's sake. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry!

    The most we can do is do our best, and at least we care about them and want to do what we can. Lot to be said for that....

    Cat
     

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