Dear
@NorahRose
I am sorry about your news. Others have given you practical legal advice and also on the personal front.
I would make a suggestion on a practical medical front. Vascular Dementia is usually linked to heart problems, the blood supply to the brain being reduced. Have you had a chat with your GP and covered some practical bases? It’s only been a few weeks since your diagnosis and your GP may not yet have got a report from the Memory Clinic. Or got it but is busy with so much else has not yet contacted you.
Please understand what I am about to say is done to try and help not upset you.
1) Heart problems and high blood pressure usually go together. Please ensure your BP is checked by the GP. Problem is one reading in isolation is not much use. With my mum I agreed with the doctor to buy a BP monitor and for weeks I took mum’s readings morning, lunchtime and early evening. A problem was rapidly identified and mum started on medication, gradually increased until the readings got relatively much better. Problem is you can have high BP and no outward signs of a problem. It is sometimes referred to as the silent killer.
2) Get your GP to do a blood test for cholesterol, the building block of high BP in many cases. Again there are medications that can help on this front.
3) Get your GP to listen to your heart for a steady beat, etc. Do you get any pains in your chest or arms, if so tell the GP.
All of the above need to be reviewed and if there is a problem dealt with. Vascular Dementia can be slowed in many cases if the above potential underlying problems are addressed. I would like to think your GP will be on top of these points but if not please enquire.
You have had a great shock. Having a young child makes the situation harder for you emotionally. Now what I am about to say is not done in a cavalier fashion but is intended hopefully to help you. People can live with Vascular Dementia for many years only showing slight signs in early years. Try not to spoil today by worrying about what may happen in the future. That future will happen but it should not totally cloud out today in worry. Vascular Dementia is hard to predict so please try to live in this moment. Do you have family and friends for support. Talking about the situation will most likely help.
Finally you need to be gentle with yourself. The future is uncertain, naturally you are concerned, you are facing a situation very few people will. You need to be your own best friend going forward, gentle and nurturing with yourself, accepting the mixed emotions you have are normal and will be hard to come to terms with. Let yourself adjust to this new circumstance in your life. Perhaps start a personal journal, writing down how you feel, anxieties you have, etc. When they run wild in the mind they seem impossible to control, down on paper to read they can become more manageable. Please try it as this worked for me in the past.
I hope some of the above will help in this very demanding time for you. Please be gentle with yourself. Please stay in touch with this forum. You will find helpful advice, support and guidance here from people who get what is involved with Dementia. My very best wishes.