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I was diagnosed 4 weeks ago with Vascular Dementia

NorahRose

New member
May 13, 2021
1
0
Hi everyone,
I am 49 and 4 weeks ago I was diagnosed with Vascular dementia. The last 4 weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, all i have done is cry. I have 3 boys my youngest is 11. I'm so scared and feeling very vunerable at the minute. I'm finding it so hard to try to think about how to come to terms with possibly forgetting my children, how as a mum do you come to terms with that, also with how hard its going to be for them once this progresses. Any suggestions?
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,349
0
Kent
Oh my goodness @NorahRose I`m so sorry.

I`m glad you`ve found Dementia Talking Point for although it will not change your diagnosis I`m sure you will receive all the help and support it is possible to give.

Have you been prescribed any medication? I`m not sure whether or not there is medication to help people with Vascular Dementia but if there is, please try it. It could help delay the progression.

Please give the support line a ring and talk to someone.

. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456
Monday to Wednesday9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday10am – 4pm


There may also be local support now things are easing with COVID


Please ask for as much help as possible. There will be someone who may be able to make life a bit more bearable for you.

This may also help you.

 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
5,051
0
Nottinghamshire
What a horrible shock @NorahRose , but at least you've found this place, where you'll find lots of support and advice.
I'd try not to think too far ahead, but I would plan things such as a will and Lasting Power of Attorney if you haven't already done so.
I'm sure others that have been in this situation will be along shortly. Both my mother and mother-in-law have vascular dementia but they were both much older than you when it started. Both of them lived very well with it for many years.
 

Millwill

New member
Jun 14, 2021
8
0
Omg, so very sorry you have this disease, make no bones about it, it's not pleasant but it is far worse for those watching those who have it. We're still dealing with it after 13 years ,( they are older than you 94 yrs now) but it has been a slow decline, so you will have plenty of time to spend with your family. Make lots of memories together and make a book from them, so when that window of memory opens you'll shine through. All is not lost cos everyday new pills come through, after all look how quick Covid vaccines were produced, where there's a will! Don't give up! . But pease please, if you love your boys, plan as much as possible,I know it may sound callous, but make a will, do LPA, and a living will if possible, even end of life choice. For they will find there will come a time when that system we call health service will take over and they'll have no say about anything.
So Cheer up, be positive, get over the shock, for in a way it will force you to make every minute count. Not a lot of us can say that about life as we waste so much. Bless.
 

Suziblake

New member
Jun 17, 2021
1
0
Hi @NorahRose sorry to hear your news and how it's affecting you, it must be really hard to except,
my mum had dementia, Although it's a shock the only advice I could give you is to make as many memories as you can with your family, I know it sounds hard now but it helps,
make the most of every opportunity you have to do things that you are able to do, change the way you view things and enjoy the things that you can,
maybe try looking at plant based foods to see if that helps with slowing things down, and medication if it's suitable
Hope you get to spend many more happy times with your family and those memories will still be in your heart,
Sending love and hope <3
 

Claire G

Registered User
Jun 16, 2020
23
0
Hi everyone,
I am 49 and 4 weeks ago I was diagnosed with Vascular dementia. The last 4 weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, all i have done is cry. I have 3 boys my youngest is 11. I'm so scared and feeling very vunerable at the minute. I'm finding it so hard to try to think about how to come to terms with possibly forgetting my children, how as a mum do you come to terms with that, also with how hard its going to be for them once this progresses. Any suggestions?
Hi NoraRose

I am sorry to hear your news and I can imagine, it is a shock for you, my Dad was diagnosed in 2017 and although he forgets sometimes he is generally on good form and cracking jokes. I would say get your affairs in order, I have done the LPA for my Dad because the social services can overrule the family if you do not have it but that is a long long way down the line and we are not there yet, but prepared.

Take each day as it comes x
 

Whisperer

Registered User
Mar 27, 2017
320
0
Southern England
Dear @NorahRose

I am sorry about your news. Others have given you practical legal advice and also on the personal front.

I would make a suggestion on a practical medical front. Vascular Dementia is usually linked to heart problems, the blood supply to the brain being reduced. Have you had a chat with your GP and covered some practical bases? It’s only been a few weeks since your diagnosis and your GP may not yet have got a report from the Memory Clinic. Or got it but is busy with so much else has not yet contacted you.

Please understand what I am about to say is done to try and help not upset you.

1) Heart problems and high blood pressure usually go together. Please ensure your BP is checked by the GP. Problem is one reading in isolation is not much use. With my mum I agreed with the doctor to buy a BP monitor and for weeks I took mum’s readings morning, lunchtime and early evening. A problem was rapidly identified and mum started on medication, gradually increased until the readings got relatively much better. Problem is you can have high BP and no outward signs of a problem. It is sometimes referred to as the silent killer.
2) Get your GP to do a blood test for cholesterol, the building block of high BP in many cases. Again there are medications that can help on this front.
3) Get your GP to listen to your heart for a steady beat, etc. Do you get any pains in your chest or arms, if so tell the GP.

All of the above need to be reviewed and if there is a problem dealt with. Vascular Dementia can be slowed in many cases if the above potential underlying problems are addressed. I would like to think your GP will be on top of these points but if not please enquire.

You have had a great shock. Having a young child makes the situation harder for you emotionally. Now what I am about to say is not done in a cavalier fashion but is intended hopefully to help you. People can live with Vascular Dementia for many years only showing slight signs in early years. Try not to spoil today by worrying about what may happen in the future. That future will happen but it should not totally cloud out today in worry. Vascular Dementia is hard to predict so please try to live in this moment. Do you have family and friends for support. Talking about the situation will most likely help.

Finally you need to be gentle with yourself. The future is uncertain, naturally you are concerned, you are facing a situation very few people will. You need to be your own best friend going forward, gentle and nurturing with yourself, accepting the mixed emotions you have are normal and will be hard to come to terms with. Let yourself adjust to this new circumstance in your life. Perhaps start a personal journal, writing down how you feel, anxieties you have, etc. When they run wild in the mind they seem impossible to control, down on paper to read they can become more manageable. Please try it as this worked for me in the past.

I hope some of the above will help in this very demanding time for you. Please be gentle with yourself. Please stay in touch with this forum. You will find helpful advice, support and guidance here from people who get what is involved with Dementia. My very best wishes.