1. lilypat

    lilypat Registered User

    Mar 1, 2019
    208
    Female
    Yorkshire
    He is a man still but becoming a child. I want the man I fell in love with and married back . I dont want to answer the same question or tell him how to do something again and again. I want him to remember again .I want conversation and laughter. Not silence . I want help in the house and garden and advice with bills. I dont want nights of worry and days spent finding lost items . I want you to look me in the eye and smile and tell me you love me . I dont want you shrugging me off as I try to hold you

    I want you back my darling

    Not a rant or a poem just a need to write it down
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,742
    Female
    Dundee
    Thinking of you.
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,712
    Female
    South coast
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    I understand
     
  4. Ghislaine

    Ghislaine New member

    Jul 22, 2019
    3
    Thinking of you and what you’re going through
     
  5. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,517
    Female
    England
    It’s so so hard, take care.
     
  6. Guzelle

    Guzelle Registered User

    Aug 27, 2016
    395
    Sheffield
    I understand xx
     
  7. julie66

    julie66 Registered User

    Oct 4, 2013
    6
    I know exactly where you coming from Izzy, I say that every time I get so emotional just thinking of it all
    We all have to just stay strong.
     
  8. Vic10

    Vic10 Registered User

    Feb 18, 2017
    70
    Oh, Lilypat, so do I!
    I feel just the same.
    Sending understanding and love, stay strong!
     
  9. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,178
    Nottinghamshire
    I felt the same about my mum and my dad and my aunt. All my advisors and all gone before they left.
     
  10. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,465
    We all do deep in our hearts, it is a place so painful to go to. Xxx
     
  11. Philbo

    Philbo Registered User

    Feb 28, 2017
    708
    Male
    Kent
    Hi @lilypat pat

    You are amongst friends and soulmates here.

    Best wishes
    Phil
     
  12. lilypat

    lilypat Registered User

    Mar 1, 2019
    208
    Female
    Yorkshire
    Hi everybody and thanks for your nice replies. I have been a member for a while but tend to read more than I post .My OH has FTD and compared with some of the difficult things a lot of you have to cope with daily we are in a fairly settled place at moment
    It was after a long warm night and iwas feeling low due to lack of sleep .that I felt I had to write it down . It's great to be able to voice how we feel on here .
    Ps I had a good cry in the loo and felt better for it .
     
  13. Philbo

    Philbo Registered User

    Feb 28, 2017
    708
    Male
    Kent

    My wife has FTD too.

    Phil
     
  14. lilypat

    lilypat Registered User

    Mar 1, 2019
    208
    Female
    Yorkshire
    Hi @Philbo .
    We are less than a year in from diagnosis. Yet I suspect that this was around in some sort before he retired in 2015 aged 67.
    I am blessed as we at the moment dont have anger or violence. It's as if he is just retreating into his self .hence the I want you back post this am
     
  15. Philbo

    Philbo Registered User

    Feb 28, 2017
    708
    Male
    Kent
    My wife (now 68) was diagnosed in Jan 2014 (took around 18-24 months to get that far) and apart from the personality changes and mood swings in the first year or so, she too has retreated into her own happy little world.

    Like you say, compared to others on this forum, things could be a lot worse but it still breaks my heart every day.
     
  16. BluTinks

    BluTinks Registered User

    Dec 7, 2018
    42
    I have always thought this must be worse for the partner than other relatives dealing with this.My thoughts are with you
     
  17. jenniferjean

    jenniferjean Registered User

    Apr 2, 2016
    511
    Female
    Basingstoke, Hampshire
    That's interesting. It's my husband who is the PWD and I often feel that I am the one struggling. It's my husband that is slowly leaving me. I am his only carer and I am the one who is struggling to help him through this.

    However I have a daughter who lives nearby and she brings her 4 year old twins, our grandsons, to visit us often. But she doesn't help me much. Because of the twins she is unable to take both of us out with her in her car. But in an emergency she has taken us to an appointment that would have been very difficult for us to attend by taking one of the cars seats out when one twin was at nursery.

    But she never comes and take her dad out and gives me a break. She always says she can't manage the twins and her dad at the same time. I've always just accepted this and never pushed her to do more. You see, thinking about it I feel she is feeling more than she lets on. She was always close to her dad and looked up to him. I think she is finding it hard to see him as the person he always was, whereas I am coming to terms with it. I have to.
     
  18. Olliebeak

    Olliebeak Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    72
    Buckinghamshire
    I could have written that including the other post about crying in the loo. Take care of you x
     
  19. Ellie5

    Ellie5 New member

    Apr 5, 2019
    4
     
  20. Ellie5

    Ellie5 New member

    Apr 5, 2019
    4
    Hello there. I too am managing on my own as my Husband has Alzheimas. He was diagnosed May 2017 but had it a while before this. He is now 59yrs. Quite young. Sometimes we should ask for help from our families to have a break from 1-1 every day with the person who has Alzheimer's but if your'e like me you don't like too as people have their own lives. I no exactly how you're feeling. I send my heartfelt wishes
     

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