Hello Dales, and a warm welcome to Talking Point.
Here, you will find a huge resource of help and information dealing with all areas of care, treatment and financial advice. There is also, and most importantly, a wealth of friendship which, I found, helped me to get through the tough times.
I see that you are browsing the Forum; and from that, you will get a very good impression of what emotional resources are needed if you are to become a carer for a partner with AZ/Dementia.
You've both had a huge shock; and the two of you are struggling to come to terms with this devastating news.
It’s hardly surprising that your partner has become extra possessive. He is terrified, both about what is going to happen to him and his mind, and the possibility that you might leave him.
Possibly, the first thing you need to sort out in your own mind is, do you love him?
I believe that it is very hard road to care for someone with AZ/dementia without a great deal of love in place. Some members have managed it, but who would want to be cared for out of a sense of duty?
Your heading reads: ‘I want to leave it all behind.’ Most of us have cried that aloud in the wee small hours. It’s a very human reaction. If what you say is true, you will need to make up your mind very carefully. You will also want to make arrangements for his care.
On the practical side, it would be a good start to get his needs assessed by Social Services.
If he is no longer able to look after himself safely, you should get an assessment for yourself as his carer.
Citizens Advice or Age Concern helped me to make all the claims necessary to make life comfortable for my husband, and possible for me.
Take some time to consider your options. Please don’t rush into a hasty decision that you might regret.
Please keep posting, we’ll be here to listen, and help whenever possible.
Hugs to you both,
By the way, I was sixty eight when my husband showed his first signs of AZ/vascular dementia.