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I think my grandad in law has dementia.


Registered User
Apr 21, 2015
In the last few months he has become very forgetful and confused, believes that people are entering his house and taking things, he looses his keys wallet and accusing people of stealing them. But when he finds them doesn't think what he has accused people off was wrong. He has become very aggressive towards his daughter (my mother in law) he doesn't listen to her when shes trying to help him, he plays mind games with her, pinches her, walks behind her to scare her, but again doesn't realize his actions are affecting her. She is lost what to do, hence why I've decided to try and seek some help. I am unsure what to do with the situation, he hasn't been tested for anything as he doesn't believes he has a problem, he is also very stubborn and won't tell us anything that the doctors do say when he visits them, he lives alone and drives we are all very worried for his well being but don't know how to help him or what course of action to take. Never had to deal with this before.


Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006

Hi and welcome to Talking Point.

If it is dementia that your Grandfather-In-Law has then you can't expect him to reason with you. If he can't remember moving something then it is lost or stolen. The above link to Compasionate Communication is a very useful and helpful piece of information. Quite a lot to read but will certainly help you as a family to deal with some of the behaviour you will witness and will help to minimise the distress the behaviour causes you.

As for helping your Grandfather-In-Law that is difficult if he thinks nothing is wrong and won't share any medical information with you. Your Mother-In-Law could list down all the behaviour and incidents and either send it to his doctor or make an appointment to see his doctor. The doctor obviously won't discuss anything with your Mum-In-Law but at least the doctor will know there are concerns regarding memory and behaviour. Hopefully the doctor will then start the ball rolling by talking to your Grandfather-In-Law and deciding the way forward.

There is a great deal of support and understanding on the forum and I am sure you will gain a lot from being a member,

Take care
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