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I suppose it is help


Registered User
Jul 18, 2011
This is really not my comfort zone, but hopefully I will get use to it.
What I am looking for to start with, is some info on what is the definition of medical care which the national health pay for and the definition of social care which we pay for, I am not ever sure if I have the terms correct.
I am 64 and look after my wife who has had vascular dementia and Alzheimer's for the last 11 years, I have now had to take early retirement and I am trying to get our act together.
Mostly I feel like a dog chasing its own tail as I do not know who to ask or/and more importantly what to ask.
ANY advice on where to look and WHAT to look for would be really appreciated.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006

Welcome to Talking Point. :)

I think for the majority of us, coming to a Forum was the first experience of sharing our troubles. The reason behind it was probably , like you, we couldn`t find anyone else to help with finding the information we needed.

What you need to do, if you haven`t already, is contact Adult Social Services for a Community care assessment

They will tell you what you are entitled to help with and what you have to fund yourself.

I hope this helps.


Registered User
Jul 18, 2011
Thanks for the support, My wife had a support plan which is now out of date, I have tried to talk to her social worker, it is like trying to communicate with a darken empty room.
Sound goes in but Nothing comes out.
It the feeling that you should be doing more, wanting to ask the questions but never sure who to ask or what questions to ask.
The social worker is not helping.
Take care


Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
Hi Andova. Keep a diary if possible of all the people you speak to, even if they are receptionists, names, dates, times, brief account of what you talked about. also keep a diary of what difficulties arise at home, how your wife is etc as this may all help towards getting care paid for. They like specific examples of things.

i got very confused with who was who and which ones i had spoken to and how many times we had phoned etc, and once I started keeping records I was much better placed to chase things up.


Registered User
Jul 18, 2011

Good morning, Thank you for the comments and advice, I have been in contact with Alzheimer's for copies of some of their booklets and downloaded some info on care assessment.
It feels better doing something even though in the long run I might not be able to accomplish a great deal. I do not expect to solve all my issues.
It is also good to be in touch with others in our situation.
again thanks for your input.
another question besides Alzheimer's society is there any one else who can supply support from our side of the fence?
Take care


Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
Your local carers association and Age UK might be able to offer you some help, contact them and see,


Registered User
May 7, 2014
Hello Andova, I am sorry to hear that your wife has this illness...Unfortunately we have to keep asking for help or we don't get any...I was not happy with our s.w so I requested a change, I explained my reasons(she was always off sick,for weeks on end, never replied to my phone calls or emails, refused to help me find a dentist for mum, would bowl into mums personal space and ask stupid questions ? when she was at work ?,so mum did not like her either) and I have now got a different one, and she is so much better, ...Also get in touch with Alz society, carers centre..I hope you can get the best help that you can..All the best xxx


Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
One of the most helpful things to me was to become involved in the Alz groups run in our area. At first this was to have something to do and people to speak to but I quickly saw it was a way of being part of the system. Often I hear useful pieces of info and our social workers occasionally call in to these groups to see what is going on and can be nabbed for info too. Local councillors have called in and others who can be influenced or be of help. We have needed nothing until now but as my husband becomes more confused and forgetful I feel that I have points of contact which I would otherwise not have known.

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