Hi
I need help, as does my father! actually my father is in need of a lot of help!
Long, long story cut short. Myself and my siblings as well as my mother, have promised for as long as I can remember that neither of my parents would end up in a home. We have always promised.
My father had a fall, had urinary and blood infection. Mother and siblings have been telling hubby and I he is a vegetable. Hubby and I have been visiting in hospital only to find he has mental capacity, can hold a conversation (briefly) but is most certainly not a vegetable!
Fallout has occurred hubby and I are liars, he cannot hold a conversation!
Mother is ill and cannot look after him, so she has sent him to a care home. We have facilities here to look after him. (Built for my mother whose health improved).
Father in a very parocial area and hubby and I live 200 miles away.
My fathers wishes are entirely governed by my mother's health. We are sick and tired of being told by hospitals and now certain members of the care home that my mother is not well and cannot look after him. There is no power of attorney!
My father's life (what remains of it). is now being governed by my mother's health. I have stated that my father made his wishes clear that he never wanted to be in a care home. The nurse informs me tonight that he will never leave the care home as mother cannot look after him. I said that that had no basis in law and that my father is protected by the mental capacity act, he having made his wishes known prior to his fall.
My mother having placed him in a care home, wouldn't upgrade his room, 'its not important' won't despite 3 months of us trying to engage him, offer photos, familiar items, will only visit 1/2 hour at a time per day. 'I'm not well'.
Nurse informs us tonight despite my father requesting EVERY TIME we visit to take him away from here (hospital/care home) that my mothers rights are what matters.
How is this possible?
How do I get him out?
How do I prove we can look after him?
What does it take to get social services/assesment doctors and care home managers to speak with each other and get their fingers out? - My father is deteriorating and needs to be in a loving environment.
What do you do?
I love my father who is not being exercised, who has gone from cavalry twills and made to measure sports jacket to my mother's preferred George jogging bottoms and jumpers. He has been humiliated!
Please help.
I need help, as does my father! actually my father is in need of a lot of help!
Long, long story cut short. Myself and my siblings as well as my mother, have promised for as long as I can remember that neither of my parents would end up in a home. We have always promised.
My father had a fall, had urinary and blood infection. Mother and siblings have been telling hubby and I he is a vegetable. Hubby and I have been visiting in hospital only to find he has mental capacity, can hold a conversation (briefly) but is most certainly not a vegetable!
Fallout has occurred hubby and I are liars, he cannot hold a conversation!
Mother is ill and cannot look after him, so she has sent him to a care home. We have facilities here to look after him. (Built for my mother whose health improved).
Father in a very parocial area and hubby and I live 200 miles away.
My fathers wishes are entirely governed by my mother's health. We are sick and tired of being told by hospitals and now certain members of the care home that my mother is not well and cannot look after him. There is no power of attorney!
My father's life (what remains of it). is now being governed by my mother's health. I have stated that my father made his wishes clear that he never wanted to be in a care home. The nurse informs me tonight that he will never leave the care home as mother cannot look after him. I said that that had no basis in law and that my father is protected by the mental capacity act, he having made his wishes known prior to his fall.
My mother having placed him in a care home, wouldn't upgrade his room, 'its not important' won't despite 3 months of us trying to engage him, offer photos, familiar items, will only visit 1/2 hour at a time per day. 'I'm not well'.
Nurse informs us tonight despite my father requesting EVERY TIME we visit to take him away from here (hospital/care home) that my mothers rights are what matters.
How is this possible?
How do I get him out?
How do I prove we can look after him?
What does it take to get social services/assesment doctors and care home managers to speak with each other and get their fingers out? - My father is deteriorating and needs to be in a loving environment.
What do you do?
I love my father who is not being exercised, who has gone from cavalry twills and made to measure sports jacket to my mother's preferred George jogging bottoms and jumpers. He has been humiliated!
Please help.
Last edited by a moderator:
