Hi,
My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's dementia in December. She is still very physically capable but has trouble communicating, and often gets frustrated/angry with me and other family members when we either try to help her find words, or when we don't help enough. She also has quite bad mood swings and can be very uncommunicative. Other times I swear she looks at/talks to me like she hates me. I know it's not 'her', it's the dementia, and other times she is lovely. But sometimes, though I LOVE HER TO BITS, I really, really, do not LIKE her at all. And I know many people have this with family members even if they don't have this horrible disease, but at least if you don't like a family member who doesn't have a condition like dementia, you can blame it partly on them being a flawed human being, just like everyone else. Maybe this isn't fair, but I sometimes feel like dementia is a 'carte blanche' for people to be horrible, even though obviously they are not deliberately trying to be horrible. It's just really hard sometimes. The worst is what I call 'victim mode' when she believes everyone and everything is out to get her, even though we're all (family) just trying to help. It really pushes my buttons, even though logically I know she can't help it.
Is it normal to feel like this? Has anyone else experienced the 'victim' thing? I mean, I know they ARE victims (of dementia) but it's like to her, the people around her (me and my dad mostly) BECOME the physical manifestation of it.
Thanks,
G.
My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's dementia in December. She is still very physically capable but has trouble communicating, and often gets frustrated/angry with me and other family members when we either try to help her find words, or when we don't help enough. She also has quite bad mood swings and can be very uncommunicative. Other times I swear she looks at/talks to me like she hates me. I know it's not 'her', it's the dementia, and other times she is lovely. But sometimes, though I LOVE HER TO BITS, I really, really, do not LIKE her at all. And I know many people have this with family members even if they don't have this horrible disease, but at least if you don't like a family member who doesn't have a condition like dementia, you can blame it partly on them being a flawed human being, just like everyone else. Maybe this isn't fair, but I sometimes feel like dementia is a 'carte blanche' for people to be horrible, even though obviously they are not deliberately trying to be horrible. It's just really hard sometimes. The worst is what I call 'victim mode' when she believes everyone and everything is out to get her, even though we're all (family) just trying to help. It really pushes my buttons, even though logically I know she can't help it.
Is it normal to feel like this? Has anyone else experienced the 'victim' thing? I mean, I know they ARE victims (of dementia) but it's like to her, the people around her (me and my dad mostly) BECOME the physical manifestation of it.
Thanks,
G.