A few months ago I sent an email to my mum (even though she'd been sectioned and was on a mental health ward) saying, "I need you Mum, where are you, come back to me". I knew I'd lost her, but I needed that connection. I will never get back the mum I had. It wasn't a great relationship, but it was our relationship. I understand that it must be so difficult to lose a parent to dementia when you've always had a close relationship, but when you lose parents that have kept you at a distance you are never able to resolve the situation. I feel absolute responsibility (including financially) for my mum, but I've never felt loved in any way, shape or form, by my parents (my dad died in 1997, leaving what he had to his second family). Despite this, I'm so glad that my mum is now in a place (thanks to my husband paying) that I feel is a real home. Reading this back, I realise it sounds self-pitying. But I'm trying to portray how we feel responsible for how our close family members are living, even if they don't return the favour.