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I need to vent..............

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Bassetlaw Badge, Feb 22, 2015.

  1. Bassetlaw Badge

    Bassetlaw Badge Registered User

    Oct 30, 2012
    51
    Thank goodness for this forum. My father (who still hasn't been diagnosed with anything, although I have managed to get him into the memory clinic next month at long last) has gone downhill dramatically over the last few weeks and life is difficult - I'm writing this at a time when I simply don't know what to do.

    It has come to light today that he randomly gave his set of my housekeys to some random bloke who happened to be sat outside in a van. He seems to think he was supposed to be doing some work on his house so went out and gave them to him! Even more bizarre he took off the garage key before he gave them the rest! And it would appear he took them! And he has no recollection of who he is or what he is supposed to be doing with them. He is so confused about it all, I 've brought him to my house and parked him in front of the cycling with a cuppa and some biscuits for now, but he keeps trying to go home in case this man has come round and is in his house. I keep explaining that he gave him MY keys, but I must have had this conversation four times in the last 30 minutes.

    Do I need to call a doctor or something or is this just the start of the next chapter? Who else is he letting in his house or giving money to?
     
  2. Adcat

    Adcat Registered User

    Jun 15, 2014
    290
    London
    Hello,
    How horribly stressful. My advice would be to take him to the GP for a once over just to make sure there is no underlying infection which can cause havoc.
    It's great that you have a memory clinic appointment but don't expect a definitive diagnosis straight away. Often scans are required.
    Take care
     
  3. Bassetlaw Badge

    Bassetlaw Badge Registered User

    Oct 30, 2012
    51
    Thank you - I never thought about it but he does have a cold. I bet he's not looking after himself well - it all adds up.

    Will make an appointment in the morning.
     
  4. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    806
    North East
    You have my sympathy too. Come and rant away any time you need. (Are you changing your locks?)
     
  5. Bassetlaw Badge

    Bassetlaw Badge Registered User

    Oct 30, 2012
    51
    Lol - good point. I need to change a couple as it was a 'master set' (long story as to why he had it) and I don't actually have a spare of two of the keys.................

    The whole thing is just completely bizarre. I have to stop trying to fathom why on earth anyone would see a van parked up the road and feel the need to run out to it and give the person sat in it some keys and why would they take them. And why - here's the really strange bit - have the state of mind to think to take one of the keys off for some reason? Luckily it was my only garage key so at least I can get in there! I need to get myself super organised for whatever lies ahead. How people manage to do this with jobs and kids I have no idea.
     
  6. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013
    333
    rct
    Hi!..i genuinely hope it is an underlying general illness...but if otherwise ..the key issue is the shape of things to come!..i care for my dad who has dementia and the things we see are seen jn completely different way..its due to the disease of the brain...the best advice i can give is dont look at things through your eyes use his!..what i mean by that is his memory might be back in the 1960s 70s 90s and moving in or out using a van and was giving someone the keys in that day....some are waiting for their deceased loved ones to come in from work!!.their short term memory is gone and only long term memory is with them and thats what they live their life by..its all they know.

    You are very lucky to get in to memory clinic ..i will say its process might be long..and dont be fobbed off..your opinion matters...following a diagnosis contact ss for care assessment and power of attorneys a must.!..hope this is all irrelevant for you..best wishes

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app
     
  7. Bassetlaw Badge

    Bassetlaw Badge Registered User

    Oct 30, 2012
    51
    Thanks - all good information. Your comments have helped me realise that I must be doing something right! Dad has been like this for nearly a decade and the decline has been very steady, but definitely there. Power of Attorney, check. Done a while back but maybe now need to put it into play (you can't go giving random white van men money for work not carried out). The Memory Clinic appointment has taken me YEARS to get - I've posted about this in the past and it seems awful how hard it is to get people to listen to you.
    I get what you mean about the van maybe being from years ago and not last week, and I tried to approach this with dad, and he accepted my point. But it all adds up. The keys were separated for some reason and now I only have my garage key. And all my other keys are simply gone :eek: He simply can't remember why he gave him the keys and what their conversation was - but he can describe him perfectly!
    As awful as this all is, it's really quite interesting.................
    Well that's the way I'm getting myself through it anyway!
     

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