1. Sarah-Anne

    Sarah-Anne Registered User

    Mar 17, 2007
    28
    shropshire
    Hi...
    A really bad day...i feel so alone.
    I promised i wouldn't be one of those people who sat by a grave.
    That's what i did today...sobbing...aching...angry...bitter
    I just wanted my dad so much.
    I lay next to him...how do people get through this?
     
  2. nicetotalk

    nicetotalk Registered User

    Sep 22, 2006
    155
    stretford
    Hi sarahann

    Iam so sorry for your loss, no one has the answer to how one copes with a loss of a loved one. At some stage in someones life they will experience a loss its so hard and you feel you will never get over a loss time is a great healer i know this will not mean much to you at the moment, have you family or friends you could talk to there are websites on grieving that might be able to help you understand the grieving process. Keep posting any time people on here understand. My thoughts are with you

    kathy
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Sarah-Anne

    So sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. Sunday always seems to be a bad day when you're grieving.

    Most people are relaxing, enjoying the sunshine, and all you can think of is the huge gap in your life. I believe you said in an earlier post that you cope by being busy. Perhaps that's what you need to do? Find something that you can do on a Sunday, join a gym, perhaps, or a rambling club.

    I don't mean forget your dad. You'll never do that. Just give yourself something positive to think about, something just fro you.

    I hope you managed to get some sleep last night, and are feeling a bit better today. Post again and let us know.

    Love,
     
  4. Ann-marie

    Ann-marie Registered User

    Dec 24, 2006
    26
    i know what your going thro ...my gran died 5 weeks ago today ... i dont know how people get thro this .....im just stumbling thro life at the minute one day at a time......theres no time limit on these things ....it dosent help when people tell you to pull yourself together r that the person is in a better place when all you want is that person back with you
     
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Sarah Anne,
    So sorry that you are feeling so low - I do not know the answer to your question - just wanted you to know that here, you have friends with you when you are feeling that way. All you need do is ask, and someone will send a hug - dont understand why or how - but it does help.
    You will get through this.
    With love and a big ((((((HUG))))))), Helen
     
  6. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    #6 daughter, Mar 26, 2007
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2007
    Hi Sarah Anne (and Anne-Marie),

    I do so agree with Hazel that "Sunday always seems to be a bad day when you're grieving".

    If being at your Dad's grave is something that helps, then that's fine, it doesn't matter if you promised yourself otherwise. Even though those feelings hurt so much, sometimes I think we have to allow ourselves to be unhappy for a time - that is the grief coming out after all - but then finding things to do and keeping busy can help sometimes too.

    Everyone is different and has different ways that help them cope. You will find yours.

    Thinking of you, Hazel.
     
  7. Sarah-Anne

    Sarah-Anne Registered User

    Mar 17, 2007
    28
    shropshire
    thankyou my new friends

    Thankyou so much for your replies....it helps so much to know i'm not alone.
    I have the usual scenario happening....people are keeping away...i am so let down by the people i thought i could trust. I wont accept that people dont know what to say...i dont need to hear that. I want to talk, to cry...i just dont understand people.
     
  8. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Sarah-Anne

    Sorry to hear your feeling so low.............unfortunately Sarah, its a road you walk alone, no matter how many people try to help, because everyone feels and reacts differently, but the one thing thats important is knowing that people care about how your feeling and coping and how much your hurting, and we do care.
    I think there are a lot of people here who would like to take your pain away, but we can't, you'll find a way that suits you best to grieve, if thats being close to your dad then thats fine.............with me............i had Rays favorite jumper..........cuddled it whenever i needed to, still have the jumper, but don't need to cuddle it so much................the coping gets better with time, the hurt and pain eases a little too, just give yourself time and space to heal a little.............its still early days.

    I hope tomorrow is a better, brighter day for you.

    Love Alex x
     
  9. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Sarah Anne......and Ann Marie too,
    I just want you to know I do understand.
    I don't always understand people either......perhaps they don't want to talk in case it upsets you, perhaps they don't want to see how upset you are....I really don't know....
    We are here whenever you need to talk, or to cry......
    I talk to mum and dad all the time.....I get cross, I cry......i tell them I love them . Mum only died recently and it does hurt but having lost dad 2 years ago I know from that experience I will get through. They're watching over me to make sure of that.
    Don't be hard on yourself.....in the future you'll be able to look back at memories which hurt now in a different light.
    Be kind to yourself and give yourself time
    Love Wendy xx
     

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