It has been hard at times (harder for most of you here, I know), as we've adjusted to the last 2 years, but life is becoming so very hectic. My 2 youngest children both finish Uni this summer, and will move back home until they find a job. My eldest is also moving back home as she changes jobs. They have all been coming back at incresingly frequent intervals, and this has been a real bonus, however I am finding that I haven't been able to give Mum quite the same amount of attention. No matter how I try, there are never enough hours in the day.
She now has Daycare and her Group, so I know that whatever happens, I can rely on these (though she isn't happy with her Group anymore), however she can make me feel as though I am failing her by just a look, or the way she says a certain word. We have kept a small stock of frozen meals for when I can't cook, but she is now not eating these at all. This doesn't matter, because she is well nourished, but I feel she's doing it to hurt me, because I have failed to produce a fresh meal. She is now locking the doors against her neighbours, and she finds more and more to critisise. The children have always loved her, but now I sense that they resent her, because of what she's doing to me (and my husband). She was here for my daughter's birthday meal and was in a terrible mood, which in turn upset everyone.
I took her to the opticians yesterday morning, then collected her for the Group at 1pm. She told me she'd been at a loose end all morning. When she got in from Group, I asked what she'd been doing and out came the stock answer, 'nothing, what is there TO do'.
I think I have put as much in place as I can for the time being. Her week is well-balanced, but it seems that as she remmebers nothing of what she does, the times she is alone, she thinks I've abandoned her. YET, she has taken a particular dislike to one neighbour following an incident last week, and she has rememebred that ....HOW DOES SHE DO THAT? How can she remember the bad things?
I am sorry to be so down. I sometimes feel like just giving up. Sitting down and letting whatever is going to happen, happen. Let it all take care of itself.
She now has Daycare and her Group, so I know that whatever happens, I can rely on these (though she isn't happy with her Group anymore), however she can make me feel as though I am failing her by just a look, or the way she says a certain word. We have kept a small stock of frozen meals for when I can't cook, but she is now not eating these at all. This doesn't matter, because she is well nourished, but I feel she's doing it to hurt me, because I have failed to produce a fresh meal. She is now locking the doors against her neighbours, and she finds more and more to critisise. The children have always loved her, but now I sense that they resent her, because of what she's doing to me (and my husband). She was here for my daughter's birthday meal and was in a terrible mood, which in turn upset everyone.
I took her to the opticians yesterday morning, then collected her for the Group at 1pm. She told me she'd been at a loose end all morning. When she got in from Group, I asked what she'd been doing and out came the stock answer, 'nothing, what is there TO do'.
I think I have put as much in place as I can for the time being. Her week is well-balanced, but it seems that as she remmebers nothing of what she does, the times she is alone, she thinks I've abandoned her. YET, she has taken a particular dislike to one neighbour following an incident last week, and she has rememebred that ....HOW DOES SHE DO THAT? How can she remember the bad things?
I am sorry to be so down. I sometimes feel like just giving up. Sitting down and letting whatever is going to happen, happen. Let it all take care of itself.
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