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I need someone to talk to

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
154
@White Rose @Vitesse I say the same thing, I am surprised and dissapointed by how hard I find it to be calm and patient with mum.
Today being a prime example even after my little treat yesterday I have been so het up today. I know mum cant help it and doesnt choose to be like that, but my patience has been tried and failed quite a few times today due to mum constantly saying one thing then changing to opposite and constantly moaning and wanting to argue with me over anything and everything and blame it all on me then say sorry only to start again.
Seems like today has been the day for it.
@CardiffGirlInEssex very good idea of your aunt to take photo of them along. Bit of an awkward moment mum saying aunt is old woman tho, mum said something similar when we visited a care home a few weeks ago said they were all old and they were similar age to mum. Was your mum ok when she looked in mirror? Was she shovked by how looked or did it not really register?
I don't think it registered, or if it did she soon forgot. Her decline since her hospital stay has really shocked us.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
530
I am lying in bed now alone in the bungalow OH went into hospital yesterday.He was up at 5am yesterday stark naked,bed wet yet again.Told him he couldn't go back to bed as I hadn't the energy to make it.It took me 15 minutes to get him dressed.He hit me,was in a terrible temper.Finally got him to the hospital at 12.30pm.Stayed with him till 7pm.He got nasty when I left.Went home had some soup,then a bath.I'm bed for 9pm.I now it sounds selfish but I'm not going to see him today.I'm going shopping,taking my time & switching the phone off
Ebas you really must not put up with that. Mine will swear and get angry but I can calm him down and so far he's never hit me, the day he does is the day he goes into a care home (but we are lucky that he has funds to pay for it). Can you get help from social services, surely that is not something anyone has to put up with. Maybe post a question on TP for others who may be/have been in the same situation, if you haven't already done so.
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
187
Ebas you really must not put up with that. Mine will swear and get angry but I can calm him down and so far he's never hit me, the day he does is the day he goes into a care home (but we are lucky that he has funds to pay for it). Can you get help from social services, surely that is not something anyone has to put up with. Maybe post a question on TP for others who may be/have been in the same situation, if you haven't already done so.
I agree with you, I do not intend to put up with any physical aggression. We will have to pay the fees, but it would not be up for debate. This behaviour is the sort of thing social services would get involved with and they will help you, Ebas. The hospital stay may well lead down that path too.
 

ebas

Registered User
Aug 8, 2019
81
Ebas you really must not put up with that. Mine will swear and get angry but I can calm him down and so far he's never hit me, the day he does is the day he goes into a care home (but we are lucky that he has funds to pay for it). Can you get help from social services, surely that is not something anyone has to put up with. Maybe post a question on TP for others who may be/have been in the same situation, if you haven't already done so.
Thanks I will do that later today.I am going to see someone on Monday at Derby carers group to see if I can get a carers assessment.Hoping they will keep him in for a week because at the moment I don't think I will cope at the moment.Had a good night's sleep.Will go & see him in hospital tomorrow
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
187
Thanks I will do that later today.I am going to see someone on Monday at Derby carers group to see if I can get a carers assessment.Hoping they will keep him in for a week because at the moment I don't think I will cope at the moment.Had a good night's sleep.Will go & see him in hospital tomorrow
Has the social service done on assessment of his needs? I had a bit of trouble at first when they did the assessment, but after a bit of complaining they have been trying hard to pinpoint the correct support for us. My problem is that my husband refuses to engage with PA, Day centre etc, so wants and expects me to do everything!! If he was worse, and needed full time care, he would not have a choice. I found the carers assessment to be a bit lightweight, so don’t pin your hopes on that.
 

RaggyK

New member
Nov 20, 2019
3
Can I join the ‘wish I could be more patient gang’ please. I totally feel for you all and you are all doing brilliantly so please don’t beat yourself up. We can only do our best and have a good bent on here so we know we are not alone.
 

RaggyK

New member
Nov 20, 2019
3
Can I join the ‘wish I could be more patient gang’ please. I totally feel for you all and you are all doing brilliantly so please don’t beat yourself up. We can only do our best and have a good bent on here so we know we are not alone.
 

dancer12

Registered User
Jan 9, 2017
498
Mississauga
I am lying in bed now alone in the bungalow OH went into hospital yesterday.He was up at 5am yesterday stark naked,bed wet yet again.Told him he couldn't go back to bed as I hadn't the energy to make it.It took me 15 minutes to get him dressed.He hit me,was in a terrible temper.Finally got him to the hospital at 12.30pm.Stayed with him till 7pm.He got nasty when I left.Went home had some soup,then a bath.I'm bed for 9pm.I now it sounds selfish but I'm not going to see him today.I'm going shopping,taking my time & switching the phone off
Atta Girl ebas:

I don't see any selfishness there. Nothing wrong with a little ME time (we all need it). It would be more selfish not to take it.:)
 

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