• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

I need help. when's the time to put a patient in a home?


Registered User
Jan 10, 2015
The lady I live with has Alzheimer's. Her husband and o take care of her. However, he is rarely here. He works for the township. I have a 11month old daughter to. She is never happy, she gets feces everywhere and pees her depends and bed. She has horrible hygiene. Her husband can't take care of her but doesnt want to take her to a home. What would you do?


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
Hello and welcome,
Its a difficult question to answer as much depends on the support available in own home. If you alone trying to cope with difficult issues then it it likely you need more help, either within the home environment or within a care home.

I suspect you are not in the UK as here there would be an assessment by our social workers and that would help make the decision. Are there any health practitioners around you who are involved with the sufferer's care? If so I suggest you seek their help as soon as possible. Also I presume you have discussed this with the lady's husband.

I am sure others will be along soon with their thoughts.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2011
are you employed as her carer?? I would think it is her husbands choice to make and he has made it for now...


Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
I think as long as you are there to look after her, her husband will probably keep her at home and have no need for a care home, are you a relative or a paid carer, do you have to stay there?

Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point


Registered User
Jan 10, 2015
I do not have to live here. But I don't want to leave. I care for her for free. I love them both very much. I am mostly just concerned for her health. She won't go to the doctor. She throws a fit and threatens them. She hasn't been in years. She is down to 90 pounds. She has dentures and they never get cleaned. Her mouth smells very rotten so I'm afraid she could get an infection. I'm mostly just curious what is best for her well being.


Registered User
Mar 19, 2012
Hi, it's very difficult to advise you I am not sure what support services you have where you live, but ultimately she needs a doctor to properly asses her and get her medication, maybe eating is painful for her with teeth issue and she needs a different diet to get her weight up, pureed food? I am sorry, it sounds like you are in a difficult situation

Forum statistics

Latest member