Hi. Im 43 I live alone since I lost my partner to suicide I work full time as a Paramedic BUT I really struggle at home.
My father who raised me from 3 years old alone is my world, My 2 uncles who were bachelors and lived together <3 they helped my dad they are also my world. I owe them EVERYTHING!
In 2017 my uncle Ray got diagnosed with dementia, but every time I tried to help with carers my uncle dennis wouldn’t let them in the house, fast track to 2018 I did what I had too. I safeguarded my own uncle. Social services got involved, I called an ambulance and he went to hospital. He came home eventually with a care plan now unable to walk and completely bed bound. Forward 11 month and he declined he ended up in a nursing home and my family hated me. Well I ended up safeguarding him again against the nursing home and staff were fired and struck off. I cant help but blame myself for putting him in a home. Hes now in an amazing home and end of life
What I didn’t realise was..... I was giving all my attention to my uncle Ray I didn’t realise that Uncle Dennis too was getting Dementia. Hes manageable JUST! I work my 13 hours and I call in to make sure hes eaten etc, Ive set up a falls care pendant and moved his bedroom downstairs as thats where his bathroom is. I do what I can But hes a hoarder ( The reason he didn’t want carers in the house for his brother) and has started drinking since his brother got put into a home. Im trying to sort care for him. Now once again i didn’t realise but my Dad also has dementia and he keeps telling me he will never speak to me again as I have said he shouldn’t drive. he's lost all reality, gets lost whilst driving 2hrs to do a 5 min drive, incontinent at night, drinks 12pints of milk a day, doesn’t wash, eat properly and is so paranoid.
Dad had doctors today and I snapped at the doctor for no reason I broke down. Even sitting there my dad was down playing everything. Ive told him im trying to arrange care for him but he gets angry. I tried once before but failed. I had the Incontinence team arranged but they didn’t inform me they were going so he lied to them and they discharged him, same for the falls clinic and carers. Im LPA for my father and uncles but nobody will help me. Im hoping the doctor has listened to me today he said he will contact SS and the Dementia team.
I took my dad and dennis to hospital last week and I went to the loo and came out and Dennis had vanished, I had to get the hospital security to locate him. He was on the main street. I had no choice but to take both of them as they both had appointments .
I must add that although I missed the early onset pf dementia for my dad and dennis it was me that insisted the doctor look into it, I told the doctor they had Dementia They listened and even saw them during 2021.
I dont know why I typed all that but I feel better. I just want help I don't want to have a breakdown but they way im snapping at everyone even my dad is heartbreaking. I do NOT want to keep snapping at my dad Looking after 2 with Dementia and 1 in a nursing home is killing me slowly.
My father who raised me from 3 years old alone is my world, My 2 uncles who were bachelors and lived together <3 they helped my dad they are also my world. I owe them EVERYTHING!
In 2017 my uncle Ray got diagnosed with dementia, but every time I tried to help with carers my uncle dennis wouldn’t let them in the house, fast track to 2018 I did what I had too. I safeguarded my own uncle. Social services got involved, I called an ambulance and he went to hospital. He came home eventually with a care plan now unable to walk and completely bed bound. Forward 11 month and he declined he ended up in a nursing home and my family hated me. Well I ended up safeguarding him again against the nursing home and staff were fired and struck off. I cant help but blame myself for putting him in a home. Hes now in an amazing home and end of life
What I didn’t realise was..... I was giving all my attention to my uncle Ray I didn’t realise that Uncle Dennis too was getting Dementia. Hes manageable JUST! I work my 13 hours and I call in to make sure hes eaten etc, Ive set up a falls care pendant and moved his bedroom downstairs as thats where his bathroom is. I do what I can But hes a hoarder ( The reason he didn’t want carers in the house for his brother) and has started drinking since his brother got put into a home. Im trying to sort care for him. Now once again i didn’t realise but my Dad also has dementia and he keeps telling me he will never speak to me again as I have said he shouldn’t drive. he's lost all reality, gets lost whilst driving 2hrs to do a 5 min drive, incontinent at night, drinks 12pints of milk a day, doesn’t wash, eat properly and is so paranoid. Dad had doctors today and I snapped at the doctor for no reason I broke down. Even sitting there my dad was down playing everything. Ive told him im trying to arrange care for him but he gets angry. I tried once before but failed. I had the Incontinence team arranged but they didn’t inform me they were going so he lied to them and they discharged him, same for the falls clinic and carers. Im LPA for my father and uncles but nobody will help me. Im hoping the doctor has listened to me today he said he will contact SS and the Dementia team.
I took my dad and dennis to hospital last week and I went to the loo and came out and Dennis had vanished, I had to get the hospital security to locate him. He was on the main street. I had no choice but to take both of them as they both had appointments .
I must add that although I missed the early onset pf dementia for my dad and dennis it was me that insisted the doctor look into it, I told the doctor they had Dementia They listened and even saw them during 2021.
I dont know why I typed all that but I feel better. I just want help I don't want to have a breakdown but they way im snapping at everyone even my dad is heartbreaking. I do NOT want to keep snapping at my dad
Looking after 2 with Dementia and 1 in a nursing home is killing me slowly.
