1. Candlelight 67

    Candlelight 67 Registered User

    Nov 4, 2013
    167
    West Sussex
    I do hope the ambulance has been by now and your mother is being cared for. You must be exhausted. Do let us know what happens.
     
  2. Livveywills

    Livveywills Registered User

    Jul 11, 2015
    57
    really glad your GP stepped up and called the ambulance. Thoughts are with you right now. Please fight to get yourself s break from caring it sounds as though you really need your mum to have a break in hospital or a care home while you recover some
     
  3. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    TP is a safe place to come with whatever is in your head.

    If you want to talk to someone, the Samaritans have a phone number they answer 24/7. I'm not good with UK phone numbers but think it is 116 123, free to call.

    Please be kind to yourself and take the best care of yourself you can.

    We are thinking of you.
     
  4. lori107

    lori107 Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    45
    Hi badgeman,

    Just wondering how your mum is, did you get her into hospital? I do hope you're ok, we had the same problem with fil, you just have to be tough and bite the bullet. Keep us posted, take care

    Lori
    Xx
     
  5. Badgeman

    Badgeman Registered User

    Feb 22, 2014
    97
    Can I sincerely thank everybody who has replied and taken notice of me on this forum. It's really helped when I was alone and had nobody else. I thank you all.

    I sound terrible, and I sound selfish, but Mum is in hospital and I've refused to let her come home despite her not having a broken back (for example), as I need a break and I want her looked at properly. I want her x-rayed and I want her to be on antipsychotic drugs, or at least it all looked into properly.

    I sound very selfish, and I feel guilty, but to be alone, and have my Siamese cat on my lap and listening to music etc is pure heaven. I fell asleep at 6pmish yesterday and woke up at 4am. I'm going to grab a few hours and wake up at 4pm. I'm still so tired.

    I've just had a good talk to the mental health nurse and I think she is actually going to do something.

    Thank you all, and forgive me for being lazy. I know it won't last but at least in can I will try to have break.

    I thank you all for your support.
     
  6. Badgeman

    Badgeman Registered User

    Feb 22, 2014
    97
    Thank you, and I really appreciate your support. Thank you so much :) to take the time from the US is very, very kind.
     
  7. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,695
    Female
    London
    You sound neither terrible nor selfish! You did the right thing and hopefully they will check your mother over properly now. Stay strong.
     
  8. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,806
    Male
    Bristol
    #28 nae sporran, Jan 5, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2016
    Can I also just suggest that you call an ambulance Badgeman, and indeed if you tell them this is your mum's second fall in less than two weeks they should take you seriously and should be trained in what to say to persuade her she needs to go into A&E just to get checked out. We had to get an ambulance out just to get OH back up after sliding out of bed and getting wedged between bed and cabinet, luckily only wounded pride. The efficiently carried out the usual routine checks and were very good humoured about the whole thing. I can't see why health professionals would be dismissive, particularly with your mum's condition.

    Anyway, hope you get some proper support in trying circumstances.
     
  9. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Badgeman, you are not being 'lazy' -- you are worn out. Rest, rest and more rest, then you will be more able to get your thoughts together and speak out for whatever help it is that you need, be it care in the home, or residential care in a suitable home for your Mum. If you feel the time has come for the latter, be very clear about this, and tell them exactly why.
    Best wishes. xx
     
  10. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,902
    Yorkshire
    Hi Badgeman
    what a relief
    I am so pleased for you that action was taken and you are being listened to now - tell all, warts and all - and stick to your guns - you deserve much more support and your mum needs it
    you are the total opposite of selfish and lazy :) sleep and relax then sleep and relax - your Siamese must be purring for England to have you all to himself, sitting still; indulge him/her
     
  11. Chemmy

    Chemmy Registered User

    Nov 7, 2011
    7,593
    Yorkshire
    So pleased to hear you are now being listened to. Try and relax as much as you can.
     
  12. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,433
    Female
    Dundee
    Not lazy at all. I'm so glad your mum is in hospital now. I do hope you can take some time to recuperate a bit.
     
  13. Spiro

    Spiro Registered User

    Mar 11, 2012
    522
    I am so glad your Mum is now in hospital and that you are having some time to yourself.

    It is really important to look after yourself.

    Once you've had some sleep and something to eat, call the hospital.

    It's vital to maintain contact with them, even if you don't want to visit just yet. The last thing you need is to have decisions being made without your knowledge.

    I hope the mental health nurse is liaising with the medical team who are looking after your Mum.
     
  14. DMac

    DMac Registered User

    Jul 18, 2015
    537
    Female
    Surrey, UK
    Gosh, yes, Spiro makes a very good point. It's really important to keep in touch with the hospital. But do take some time for yourself as well. Use this time to rest and recover - you will need to gather your strength for the days ahead. Take care.xx
     
  15. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,806
    Male
    Bristol
    I apologise for coming in late in the thread earlier with advice which did not take account of improvements to your situation I should have read. But, am glad your mum is being looked after in hospital Badgeman. Best wishes and sorry again.
     
  16. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,162
    You don't sound selfish. You sound exhausted and at the end of your tether. It's important you look after yourself and remember, you don't have to take this on if it's breaking you - you can step back. *hug*
     
  17. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    You sound neither lazy, nor selfish. You sound tired! You are clearly worn out, physically and emotionally, and no wonder.

    Please get some rest, eat something, and try not to beat yourself up. When you get a chance and are so inclined, please let us know how you get on.
     
  18. Boldredrosie

    Boldredrosie Registered User

    Mar 13, 2012
    237
    Call the ambulance service

    Like everybody has said, just call the ambulance. Tell them she's fallen and has dementia. They're used to this.
     
  19. copsham

    copsham Registered User

    Oct 11, 2012
    593
    Oxfordshire
    Oh Badgeman,
    I love the image of you sitting with your Siamese cat, listening to music (and maybe drink in hand!). The dementia road is a hard one, very hard and we all need to grab moments of peace when we can. Keep posting as I am sure there will be the inevitable dilemmas ahead. Look after yourself.

    Karen
     
  20. Caseys

    Caseys Registered User

    Dec 10, 2015
    37
    I work for the ambulance service - you should always call them in such circumstances
     

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