My father moved in with me after mum died 5 years ago. Since then he has become physically and mentally more frail and increasingly dependent on me. He is now 97. Initially I had regular breaks and he went to a care home for respite but he didn't cope well with this so I then arranged for a live in carer to stay with him and I was able to get away 3 times a year. Last year he was really uncooperative with her as he just couldn't understand where I was, and who she was and was very difficult. That was September 2019. I had 2 breaks planned for this year and they were both cancelled due to COVID 19, so these last few months I have been exhausted. I am pleased to say I have just had a week away and have totally recharged my batteries. He had the same lovely carer stay with him who has been 3 times, but when I got back she was in tears and he was so distressed. He had lost weight as he hadn't eaten much and one night refused to go to bed. She will not come back again. I have no local family around to help, although my brother visited one day, travelling 90 miles to get here. The carer had just the right attitude but couldn't cope, and I feel that if she couldn't help him, no one else will. . It has taken a week to get him back on track and all is well but it feels like I can never go away again. I keep thinking...he is nearly 98, he can't go on for ever, and I can't let him down now, but physically he hasn't got much wrong with him and I know I need to look after myself. But I dread the thought of leaving him again Any ideas? How have others dealt with this situation?