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I miss the hugs and kisses

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by trish54, Jun 15, 2015.

  1. trish54

    trish54 Registered User

    Oct 8, 2014
    9
    Sheffield
    I care for my hubby who has vascular dementia caused by mini strokes and alcoholism
    It really upsets me that he shows no emotions towards me at all! He does not return my kisses or my little touches of tenderness ! It breaks my heart ! I am 61 my hubby is 67.
    Most of the time I feel like running away!
    Does anyone else feel like this?????
     
  2. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,726
    North Somerset
    So sorry to read your post, trish. My OH was the same and, as he deteriorated, he started to flinch when I touched him. It's so hurtful but try to keep in mind that it is not HIM but this dreadful illness. Missed our former physical contact so much as you do The only optomistic thing I can say is that, now that Fred is really settled and content in his CH the closeness seems to be returning and he will now alllow me to hold his hand and give him a kiss. Probably not much comfort to you now but don't give up. Best wishes.
     
  3. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,476
    London
    Oh how I agree

    Yes Trish I think lots of us feel like this I also miss the hugs and kisses and any show of emotions it is awful you still love them but you know that they can't respond to you don't you hate this bloody illness you just have to hang on and remember the good times Nannylondon
     
  4. Bill Owen

    Bill Owen Registered User

    Feb 17, 2014
    182
    BRIDGEND
    Me too

    my wife is only 62 im 62 has well . She has lewy body. Not very nice .i miss her love . She dose not know me from time to time . Gose to bed at 6 for the night . Left on my own all night . No love . Fell very a lone. Not my wifr fault .
     
  5. Ennett63

    Ennett63 Registered User

    May 11, 2015
    10
    Newcastle
    I sympathise as I am in a similar situation as my husband (Vascular Dementia diagnosis) no longer recognises me! Instead he sees me as his 'mother' who passed over 40 years ago. He will comment on things he never associated with his mother eg my ability to drive a car or the other night he asked what I was drinking I said - "vodka & coke" his response was when did you start drinking mother? Prior to him been sectioned 4 weeks ago he thought I was his first wife, again from over 40 years ago! He was discharged a week ago with changes to his medication which has improved his mood but much to my disappointment I am still seen as his mother so I have to sleep in spare bedroom in a single bed - how I miss our comfy double bed & my husband. I know my story (so far) won't give you any comfort but Thankyou for your Topic title as it struck a chord with me - take great care of yourself members on here helped me with supportive comments when I was very low & will come along again for you.
     
  6. Ennett63

    Ennett63 Registered User

    May 11, 2015
    10
    Newcastle
    Apologies I have posted my reply to wrong post it was meant for Trish.
     
  7. trish54

    trish54 Registered User

    Oct 8, 2014
    9
    Sheffield
    Thank you all for your thoughts and comments!
    It's a comfort to know that I am not alone with these feelings.
    The brain is the most complex of our organs and hopefully one day research will overpower this dreadful disease
     
  8. marmarlade

    marmarlade Registered User

    Jan 26, 2015
    183
    hugs and kises

    hubby has been in care 5 months and i now get a kiss and he holds my hand ,he calls me mum and his best friend in care is a lady he also calls her his mum gives her kisses like he does me i dont mind as long as he is happy but it does hurt at times when he walks off with her while i visit, but would never say anything as they dont understand. you can only keep loving them and try to put the heart ache away while your there ,go home and have a good cry take care we have all been there at sometime
     
  9. Alan19531953

    Alan19531953 Registered User

    Jun 16, 2015
    36
    Like living with an Aunty

    I find this. In my case it's more like living with an Aunty now rather than a wife.
     

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