I just hate this, it's so stressful

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Day 9 today of no food and very small amounts of fluids taken. Was only 2 tea spoons when I went in earlier. Can't bear it. Dad has Lewy body dementia, vascular and alzheimers, when he was sectioned in November he became violent, head butting, punching, stripping off, placed in seclusion, THAT was extremely stressful but the furthest thing from my mind was him classed as end of life 9 months later, dying. Gone from being an able bodied man to being in a wheelchair by the end of December and all his needs having by to be catered for. And here were are at day 9 and a shadow of a man and not even the former man, he really is someone else, but that someone else is still my Dad. I'm 37, I have always been a Daddy's girl, well I am the only girl, I have an older brother but he lives 200 miles away so as you can imagine logistically he isn't much help at all. The weight of this on my shoulders is choking me now. I have 2 children, 3 and under, who are a handful at the moment being the summer holidays, but they are a good distraction believe me. I have the stress of my mum, watching her crumble it's destroying her. Then there's Dad, I try not cry in front of mum as I try and be strong. Now I am crumbling. I just hate this. Sorry for the rant and I know I have said all of this before, but I needed to write it down.
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
It's heartbreaking for you....so very sorry it's all happened relatively quickly, and that you also have your children to think of....Your poor mum...

Haven't any suggestions but wanted you to know you and your mum aren't alone with your grief....There are others on here who understand how you feel, and send our support.
 

Angie1996

Registered User
May 15, 2016
515
Somerset
Hi Red66

You can see your under a huge amount of stress at the moment, its very very tough with what your going through :(

I lost my mum last year and my dad fell to pieces and currently sectioned.

No words are going to make you feel any better, but do know that many people on here feel what your going through and it's horrid!!

Take care, stay strong x
 

Gwendy1

Registered User
Feb 9, 2016
414
Glasgow
Red, you are in pain, confused and broken-hearted. Never ranting. God knows the tears I've cried, the pain, sorrow and sheer frustration I've felt with my dad through this illness. You are further along the horrible, horrible 'journey' than me. I think you're very brave. I'm holding your hand, from a distance, I know. Not much use. Xx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
108
Red, you are in pain, confused and broken-hearted. Never ranting. God knows the tears I've cried, the pain, sorrow and sheer frustration I've felt with my dad through this illness. You are further along the horrible, horrible 'journey' than me. I think you're very brave. I'm holding your hand, from a distance, I know. Not much use. Xx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Oh Red, such bad days for you at the moment. It's so hard trying to be strong for your mum when all you want to do is grieve for yourself. Sending you a hug, wish I could help your pain more
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Hi Red, have been following your posts. You are under such stress and grief and my heart goes out to you. I too had to be strong for my Mum because my Dad died when I was in my early twenties and so I understand how you are feeling, trying to hold everyone up and not being able to crumble with grief yourself. Sending thoughts of strength to you at this time. You will see it through Red, you will make it through, because you love your Mum and Dad so much, which is plain to see. Sending you a huge cyber hug of support xx
Thank you for your kind words. Sorry to hear of what you went through. It's not easy. X
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Hi Red66

You can see your under a huge amount of stress at the moment, its very very tough with what your going through :(

I lost my mum last year and my dad fell to pieces and currently sectioned.

No words are going to make you feel any better, but do know that many people on here feel what your going through and it's horrid!!

Take care, stay strong x
Oh Angie1996 what an awful situation that you have had to go through and still are. I guess it's just a case of taking things day by day. Thank you for taking the time to post to me. Stay strong too xxx
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Update for Day 9, Dad so far has had a grand total of 10 teaspoons today which is really only 5 spoons as they are only giving the tip of the spoon to try and avoid choking. But that doesn't work as he coughs the most feeble cough with having no energy or ability. Seems even weaker than earlier today. I feel like he is waiting for my brother who is currently in Spain. Holiday that was booked well over a year ago and had to keep things normal for his kids. He lives in Essex but will be here on Sunday. Sunday will be day 12, just wondering if he will make it.....
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,237
65
Toronto, Canada
Red66, I am so sorry. We are on day 6 of Mum's sudden decline, and she is now nil by mouth. It is a very heartrending thing to do. The waiting grinds one down.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,558
Ireland
Red, I've been following your other posts. It's the hardest thing, to watch someone suffer. Know that the TP family is right here, holding your hand, our shoulders are here for you to cry on, and our arms are around you.
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Red66, I am so sorry. We are on day 6 of Mum's sudden decline, and she is now nil by mouth. It is a very heartrending thing to do. The waiting grinds one down.
Hi Canadian Joanne so sorry for your situation it's just so hard. I wish your mother peace and you and your family strength x
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Red, I've been following your other posts. It's the hardest thing, to watch someone suffer. Know that the TP family is right here, holding your hand, our shoulders are here for you to cry on, and our arms are around you.
Thank you, that's lovely. X