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I just can’t .cope any more.

Lezah

New member
Jan 25, 2021
5
0
I feel I can’t cope any longer with my husband who was diagnosed with Alzrimers three years ago. I love him so much but find myself argueing and disagreeing with him all the time. I know the problem is the illness not him but this makes me feel even more guilty and depressed. I was finding it difficult to cope before lockdown but now without all the support unavailable, I feel I .am falling apart. Every day is an endless cycle of frustration, anxiety, fear and guilt . My husband is a lovely mild mannered man but he seems to argue with and resent me no matter what I do these days. Sorry to sound so negative.
 

Jacques

Registered User
Apr 4, 2020
38
0
I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. It is nearly three years since my husband was diagnosed alzheimers and I had the same problem. I have learnt over the past year that it is best just to agree with everything that he says. It seems to take the wind out of his sails and whilst it goes against the grain it is worth it for the peace that it brings. Hope this helps.
Jacqui
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,798
0
69
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Lezah.

I’m so sorry you are having such a tough time. I wondered if you would find this thread of any help -


I’m glad you’ve found the forum. You will find lots of help and support here.
 

Norrms

Registered User
Feb 19, 2009
5,388
0
Torquay Devon
Hiya lezah, i feel your pain and frustration as thats exactly what my wife says as i was diagnosed with dementia years ago. There is no rhyme or reason to this disease, one day i am mild-mannered, the day after i awake with the devil himslef inside me, but none of this is your fault, please remember this, you have already stated you know its not your
husband's fault which is a huge step forward. A few deep breaths, a little time to yourself is a must and make sure his illness doesn't become your illness

Hope this help xx
 

Angtrog

Registered User
Mar 25, 2020
98
0
Hi everyone that exactly how I feel right now, I just cant cope any more. OH has another UTI and on top of this he has constipation docs gave him a course of antibiotics last wed after he had a fall last wednesday morning his mobility is shocking. He has gone to bed in a stinking mood swearing like a trouper ( he doesnt swear). I am at my wits end now, I dont know wheather its the dementia or the UTI or both. I know he cant help it but all I want is for my husband to come back to me and to go back to life before this damned dementia took over. [Sorry about the rant.
 

Lezah

New member
Jan 25, 2021
5
0
I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. It is nearly three years since my husband was diagnosed alzheimers and I had the same problem. I have learnt over the past year that it is best just to agree with everything that he says. It seems to take the wind out of his sails and whilst it goes against the grain it is worth it for the peace that it brings. Hope this helps.
Jacqui
Thank you for your advice. I feel like all the life is being sucked out of me.
 

Lezah

New member
Jan 25, 2021
5
0
Hiya lezah, i feel your pain and frustration as thats exactly what my wife says as i was diagnosed with dementia years ago. There is no rhyme or reason to this disease, one day i am mild-mannered, the day after i awake with the devil himslef inside me, but none of this is your fault, please remember this, you have already stated you know its not your
husband's fault which is a huge step forward. A few deep breaths, a little time to yourself is a must and make sure his illness doesn't become your illness

Hope this help xx
Thank you for your post.
 

Lezah

New member
Jan 25, 2021
5
0
Hi everyone that exactly how I feel right now, I just cant cope any more. OH has another UTI and on top of this he has constipation docs gave him a course of antibiotics last wed after he had a fall last wednesday morning his mobility is shocking. He has gone to bed in a stinking mood swearing like a trouper ( he doesnt swear). I am at my wits end now, I dont know wheather its the dementia or the UTI or both. I know he cant help it but all I want is for my husband to come back to me and to go back to life before this damned dementia took over. [Sorry about the rant.
I know how you feel. Thank you for your post.