I have had a good day at work. I feel I have done the best I can do. I have spent time with my boyfriend and when I got home I made myself a nice tea which I really enjoyed. I have done one or two little jobs so was feeling really pleased with myself then it hit me. Wham! That almost physical kick to the stomach. I caught the end of a radio programme talking about being with a parent when they die. Suddenly it hit me. Then the tears flowed and I crumpled in a heap. It is six months since my mum died. I think about her all the time. Mostly I smile but then it hits me. It will be her birthday soon - our first without her. On her birthday my mum and dad would have been married 60 years. I have taken the day off work and plan to go and take some flowers and a card to the crem. I think it is time to say a few prayers, talk to mum and dad, listen to what they say and be peaceful. This will also be our first Chirstmas without her and our last Christmas in the family home as we plan to put the house on the market in the spring. I know that it is time to move on but ....... sometimes it is so hard.