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I have early stage Alzheimer's and mixed vascular dementia

jwr

Registered User
Jan 10, 2021
19
0
I have early stage Alzheimers and mixed vascular dementia!
I am ok except for osteoarthritis, heavy sweating night and day! My husband does everything for me and our home! He is my hero and never want to be without him!!
I am so tired and fatigued since recently having a small stroke!
I don’t know how long before I progress to next stage!! ? I don’t want to live any longer but don’t know what to do! I am only suffering short term memory and can do most things personally! Any hope please help!!! ?
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
4,852
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @jwr and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. This is a very friendly place and you'll get lots of help and support here.
Do you have any help other than your husband? It might be worth contacting social services to see what help might be available. You may not need it just yet, but it's worth getting things sorted out in advance.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
12,175
0
Yorkshire
hi @jwr
what a star your husband is
I'm sorry you feel so bad, and hope you're able to chat with your husband and friends
it may help to call the lovely advisors on our support line as they are very approachable and have a lot of knowledge about ways to help
keep posting - we may not be able to solve every issue but we're here to share experiences
 

HardToLetGo

Registered User
Oct 10, 2020
69
0
I have early stage Alzheimers and mixed vascular dementia!
I am ok except for osteoarthritis, heavy sweating night and day! My husband does everything for me and our home! He is my hero and never want to be without him!!
I am so tired and fatigued since recently having a small stroke!
I don’t know how long before I progress to next stage!! ? I don’t want to live any longer but don’t know what to do! I am only suffering short term memory and can do most things personally! Any hope please help!!! ?
Hello, you and your husband sound like a very close and happy couple, I'm sure he does not want to lose you and all the moments together still to come. I am thankful for the moments we still have with my Mum and I know she is too. I don't know how it feels to have dementia but I hope the love can shine through. Keep posting 🌸
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
3,280
0
Hello lovely, firstly please note everyone’s dementia journey is unique. You can be pro active & make decisions now about your care & treatment. Make memories everyday & enjoy life it’s very precious. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, speak to your GP & dementia team; ask for help now.

we are all on this life journey together
((( hugs)))
 

Cazcaz

Registered User
Apr 3, 2021
264
0
I have early stage Alzheimers and mixed vascular dementia!
I am ok except for osteoarthritis, heavy sweating night and day! My husband does everything for me and our home! He is my hero and never want to be without him!!
I am so tired and fatigued since recently having a small stroke!
I don’t know how long before I progress to next stage!! ? I don’t want to live any longer but don’t know what to do! I am only suffering short term memory and can do most things personally! Any hope please help!!! ?
My mum was diagnosed with early stages Alzheimer’s in March this year. She too is worried what the future will bring.

But she has decided to live, rather than worry. While she can’t do much at home (eg cook/write cards to family/shop). She is determined to do what she can while she can.

That is an outlook that seemed impossible for her just a couple of months ago when she too was feeling helpless and worrying about things getting worse.

what I’m trying to say is that if you’re newly diagnosed, you will feel more positive soon. Don’t let the thoughts of “I don’t want to live“ take over. You still have a long time to enjoy with your husband. This early stage can last a long time. So enjoy it! Go places you like, take photos he can show you even after you’ve forgotten, enjoy meals out. Remember you’re making memories for HIM too, this is precious time, don’t waste it in depression.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,072
0
Kent
Hello @jwr

I`m with your feelings 100% and I`m sure would feel the same fear if I had the diagnosis.

Sadly, it is what it is. No one knows what could be on the horizon and what is so important is not what we have to face but how we face it.

Your husband is doing all he can to make life as good as possible for you and having been in his shoes I know he will be as heartbroken as you are about your diagnosis.

Please work together to make the best of your time. No one knows how the dementia will develop and the early effects you are living with now are manageable. If you can possibly live in the moment, taking each day as it comes, you could have the best quality time together which I feel sure would help you mentally, physically and emotionally.
 

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
155
0
Lincolnshire
Hi My husband has dementia, in March he took suddenly ill with a urinary tract infection and suspected heart attack. He was in hospital for a week, which was dreadful for both of us - BUT, and this is the point I want to make - I missed him as much as he missed me. He is not the same as he used to be, but neither am I , and I still need him and want him, as he is now, just as much as he wants and needs me. Try and be happy you are still here and enjoy the time you have now, with your lovely husband. He wants you to be happy, that makes him happy. Xxx
 

yourbestjudy

New member
Sep 30, 2021
4
0
I have early stage Alzheimers and mixed vascular dementia!
I am ok except for osteoarthritis, heavy sweating night and day! My husband does everything for me and our home! He is my hero and never want to be without him!!
I am so tired and fatigued since recently having a small stroke!
I don’t know how long before I progress to next stage!! ? I don’t want to live any longer but don’t know what to do! I am only suffering short term memory and can do most things personally! Any hope please help!!! ?
This sounds like such a difficult time for you and your husband but it's terrific to hear that you have support at home. It is possible to live well with dementia and to have loving, happy and some fun times too. I hope you can experience some of these and are able to share your thoughts, worries and anxieties with your husband. I think it's so important to keep talking and to let people know what you need.
 

martinsta

New member
Oct 17, 2021
5
0
There is always hope!!! So many people worry about the change in there loved ones (me included) my wife has early/mid stage VD and her personality and ability is changing, slowly but noticeably, but is this so terrible really?

My Son is nearly 50, he has a good and stable career and two wonderful children, when he was younger we despaired at him always in trouble always arguing and full of teenage angst. But he was our son, we didn't like him sometimes but we always loved him

So I say is change so bad? My wife is changing and some things are challenging I don't like it sometimes but I always love her. Sometimes I long for the old days but if I am honest I don't really want the troublesome teenager back or to live in a world where VD was something you got by being less careful than you should have been. There is no point worrying about what we had, only in enjoying what we have. I firmly believe that while dementia can steal our yesterdays, today is ours. When you loose hope it has won. Every Prince has a princess ask your Husband I am sure that just like me he knows who she is, but maybe she just needs reminding sometimes.

Good luck, be open, and talk about your fears
 

chapwoman

Registered User
Jan 24, 2022
16
0
I have early stage Alzheimers and mixed vascular dementia!
I am ok except for osteoarthritis, heavy sweating night and day! My husband does everything for me and our home! He is my hero and never want to be without him!!
I am so tired and fatigued since recently having a small stroke!
I don’t know how long before I progress to next stage!! ? I don’t want to live any longer but don’t know what to do! I am only suffering short term memory and can do most things personally! Any hope please help!!! ?
My mum has dementia but is in total denial. She knows something is happening to her but will not entertain the idea of seeing a health professional. Because we are worried about the consequences of telling her, my father and I have decided that it could be detrimental to her wellbeing. Subsequently we remain cut off with no help, protecting her from the outside world, unable to even discuss things between us owing to her paranoia.
It sounds like you and your husband have a really great relationship. Please don't give up. Because you are aware of what is happening to you at least you can communicate honestly. My mum has chosen to lock herself away from everyone, even us. Please feel the sun on your face and don't move into the shadows. There is a lot of love out there........groups to join.......this forum......etc,etc..........Your husband sounds like and amazing person and he definitely needs you.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
2,029
0
65
London
Because @jwr you understand your own situation you are in a position to manage better than many. You and your husband can make plans to ensure that you have the best support and care. There won't be a cure obviously but you are well placed to live comfortably because of this awareness. Many don't get the care they need because of denial.
 

Robbie Rainbow

Registered User
Oct 23, 2021
10
0
Hi My husband has dementia, in March he took suddenly ill with a urinary tract infection and suspected heart attack. He was in hospital for a week, which was dreadful for both of us - BUT, and this is the point I want to make - I missed him as much as he missed me. He is not the same as he used to be, but neither am I , and I still need him and want him, as he is now, just as much as he wants and needs me. Try and be happy you are still here and enjoy the time you have now, with your lovely husband. He wants you to be happy, that makes him happy. Xxx
What an inspiring post.
 

Robbie Rainbow

Registered User
Oct 23, 2021
10
0
There is always hope!!! So many people worry about the change in there loved ones (me included) my wife has early/mid stage VD and her personality and ability is changing, slowly but noticeably, but is this so terrible really?

My Son is nearly 50, he has a good and stable career and two wonderful children, when he was younger we despaired at him always in trouble always arguing and full of teenage angst. But he was our son, we didn't like him sometimes but we always loved him

So I say is change so bad? My wife is changing and some things are challenging I don't like it sometimes but I always love her. Sometimes I long for the old days but if I am honest I don't really want the troublesome teenager back or to live in a world where VD was something you got by being less careful than you should have been. There is no point worrying about what we had, only in enjoying what we have. I firmly believe that while dementia can steal our yesterdays, today is ours. When you loose hope it has won. Every Prince has a princess ask your Husband I am sure that just like me he knows who she is, but maybe she just needs reminding sometimes.

Good luck, be open, and talk about your fears
Great post.
 

Norrms

Registered User
Feb 19, 2009
5,521
0
Torquay Devon
Dear JWR, my name is norms, i have had a diagnosis of dementia for the last ten years, and been a member of this forum nearly as long as Grannie G (Hiya) Please dont despair and no talk on not wanting to live either. Its not been easy i will admit and i have no idea how long i will last still being to do the things i do , but every day i am so grateful that its one more day to be with my family, my children, and gorgeous grandchildren, one day at a time dear friend, or even one hour, it doesnt matter, you are so worth it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,072
0
Kent
Hello @norms

Good to hear yo are still going strong and are able to offer support to others.
 

Dunroamin

Registered User
May 5, 2019
259
0
UK
Welcome @jwr . I am in my third year post Alzheimers diagnosis. things are changing yes, but I have always been a cup half full sort of person, which always helps. I still enjoy life, and am determined to get every last ounce of enjoyment while I can.

IT is natural to be fatigued following a stroke, but try and concentrate on what you CAN do rather than what is currently out of reach.

A concernto me is the fact your husband does everything as you say. I belong to a local informal support group and it is so obvious to me how many couples try to soldier on without help and support. Always seems to lead to a crisis. Please don't let this happen. Any husband/ partner can only take so much pressure. Access help and support now. You may not think you need it, but ....................................

My words - posted with support