I have broken down and can no longer cope

[Frankieisblue]

Bluebirds!!

Hi Frankie, There is an Alzheimers Society Dementia Cafe in Bethel Baptist Church, Llantwit Major on 5th January 2pm - 4pm. Go along and chat to the support worker and other people in a similar position from your area. It is great to talk to people who really understand what you are going through and find out about local help.

Thank you very much Dave

Up the city !!

 

[Frankieisblue]

Aww thanks friend xx

Hello Frankie, hope you are ok. I have been thinking about you over the holidays. Love quilty

 

[Frankieisblue]

My heart goes out to u

My OH was diagnosed with Alzheimers just over three years ago. I have cared and supported him alone ever since. He has always enjoyed alcohol and has continued to drink despite the Doctor's advice not to. The Doctor said his regular drinking would accelerate his dementia. He refuses to acknowledge he has dementia and says there is nothing wrong with him. His birthday is on Christmas Day so he was drinking plenty of lager, he knocked two pints over during the evening, one it the kitchen and one all over the lounge carpet. I told him off, I had quite a stressful day coping with early morning visit from neighbours, helping OH to open gifts and cooking dinner, all without help. I was tired by the evening hence the argument, and he threatened me with violence. This is the second time in a couple of months he has threatened me, and I felt afraid, particularly as he had been drinking. We sleep in seperate rooms thank goodness and when I went to bed on Christmas night I barricaded myself in my room, just in case. He has been in a strange mood again today, very argumentative and confrontational and seems to be harbouring some nasty thoughts. I am very very depressed at the best of times, but feel that this Christmas is bringing things to a head, I am still feeling upset and afraid, he is drinking lager again, sometimes he moves on to whisky. I have managed to hide the whisky for now, if he discovers that I have, I feel for my life. my stomach is churning as I am writing this, as I have no one I can turn to for help, we have no family. I am at the end of my tether, and I feel that I can't go on, I have had suicidal thoughts in the past. My GP just offered anti depressants when I went to him. I have no support, we are together 24/7. and basically he is driving me insane. I suppose an unhappy marriage to begin with doesnt help, my life is one big disaster from beginning to end with no light at the end of the tunnel, I feel in a very dark place, I am going to barricade myself in again tonight. Sorry for this depressing post folks, I have had to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who may be there.

xx

There must be thousands in your position ......give the Alzheimer's support line a ring on 03002221122

You do not have to put up with this

Have a hug and hope you find a way forward xx

 

[Frankieisblue]

Too right

Sweetie first I'm sending you a big hug.

Second if he kicks off again ring 999.
You need to stay safe. Keep posting here. We understand.

If he is violent he must be dealt with by the emergency and healthcare teams

As said , keep safe xx

 

[Frankieisblue]

God bless you

I totally understand where you are coming from. I 'get it'. The feelings of fear and frustration is so apparent and probably many of us 'get it' too. Today I managed yet another push/pull angry violent man. He could hardly breathe through his anger as he threw the laptop and hurled the vacuum into the air whilst yelling full in my face. I put my arm up to stop something coming at my face-turned out to be him and the movement sent him flying. I feel so very very scared at times and very very sorry at others. It was my respite this afternoon where I was going out with a pal for a Christmas meal. This angry outburst happened just a short time before, so I could not put on the special dress I had bought for the occasion nor put on the make-up or be the 'happy, distracted' woman I wanted to be. Instead I threw on my jeans and a T.Shirt and left the madness for a few hours, but of course, I had to return, back to the unsafe environment I live within. When another walks through the door, my LO becomes someone different, though the paid carer who came to sit with him whilst I was on respite today, said 'what's going on?' He said that he could 'feel anger' coming from my LO. My poor husband becomes someone to fear and its hard to hate the disease and not the man because the disease and the man somehow merge. He is now calm and very very quiet...and I don't even trust this. I do have help: the respite etc but no-one is ever here to see nor witness these unbelievable outbursts which leaves us both emotional cripples.

I know I probably haven't helped, but have no idea how to start a new thread and felt like you would understand as I understand your frustration. Guess that's all we can do is to let each other know that we understand...and then there's Christmas!

This is a hard journey...

I have found the Alzheimer's support line to be of great help 03002221122

 

[Frankieisblue]

Well said

Just to say no-one should have to put up with this - dementia or no dementia. I agree with Cat. Phone 999 if he is violent or even threatening violence.

You have sought help and have not been given the help you need. That's not your fault. You should phone the Samaritans and tell them just what you have told us. They exist to give help to people who are having the kind of (perfectly understandable) feelings that you are having.

http://www.samaritans.org/news/samaritans-launches-new-free-helpline-number-uk

Do keep posting. There will be others who have had to deal with this kind of problem. No-one on TP will be depressed by your post. They will understand how you feel.

Great advice

 

[daveccfc]

Thank you very much Dave

Up the city !!

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