Having battled with emotions as whether to put my husband in care, coupled with the hostility and arguments with my stepsons, my husband is now in care. At present he is on long term respite in a room that is vacant for full time residency while SS sort out things but he will not be coming home. This has been an horrendous journey that made me almost suicidal. Had it not been for the tremendous help from my social worker and GP, I doubt I would have made it. One never knows when it is the right time to admit defeat and I think this is all the harder when it is a spouse and you reflect on how they were. My life has completely changed. Yes it is strange to be on your own and I have returned to full time work. But I am a changed person, more relaxed , not stressed and I feel I am in control of my life. People have said they can see the change even though I've had to adapt to work after a 4 year break. I knew that I'd made the right decision when he came home for the weekend. I was totally stressed and worn out. I'd drunk a bottle of wine within a couple of hours and was feeling really frazzled. Any doubts that I'd had before that were confirmed that weekend and I knew I'd made the right decision. Although we have had some issues to deal with. He called the police at 3.30am from the NH to report a burglary in our house, so I was woken by the police investigating. Consequently I have had the phone in his room disconnected and if he wants to ring anyone the staff have to do it. My stepsons who many of you know have been the bain of my life and did not want their father going into care. They thought it was my duty to look after him, although they would not offer support, have only visited once in five weeks. This only go's to endorse that their only motive in all this was to get their hands on the house by trying to turf me out. They now realise that what ever they do they have no entailment to the house and thus have probably no interest in their father. To those of you that care no matter what, I admire you but I just couldn't do it anymore. My health and well being have proved that.