I totally feel your pain too! I've found the Stumped Town Dementia blog always gives me a lift because it is such a powerful antidote to all the other pictures and accounts I see about dementia featuring happy, clean, smiling elderly people, doing fun things like looking through photo albums while a carer in full make-up, not a hair out of place and a pristine, starched uniform beams down at them. Let's be clear - this is a big fat myth!
Being a carer to a parent is about discovering the meaning of true, selfless love and however pretty and prosaic that sounds - it ain't! Using emoticons, because I can't think of a better way to explain, a day can be like this:
??????????????
(and that's just the first couple of hours some days!)
Nobody gets it right all the time - just like our parents, partners, relatives and friends we care for didn't always get it right with us when they were themselves.
Whatever happens during the day - when it's gone, it's gone. However much fun, or however truly vile my mum has been during the day and no matter what frame of mind she is in at night when I say goodnight, I always make sure I've given her a goodnight kiss and tucked her in snugly. Tomorrow is always another day.
Being a carer to a parent is about discovering the meaning of true, selfless love and however pretty and prosaic that sounds - it ain't! Using emoticons, because I can't think of a better way to explain, a day can be like this:
??????????????
(and that's just the first couple of hours some days!)
Nobody gets it right all the time - just like our parents, partners, relatives and friends we care for didn't always get it right with us when they were themselves.
Whatever happens during the day - when it's gone, it's gone. However much fun, or however truly vile my mum has been during the day and no matter what frame of mind she is in at night when I say goodnight, I always make sure I've given her a goodnight kiss and tucked her in snugly. Tomorrow is always another day.