I got in touch here about a year ago.....my Dad's worse now.....

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by RebeccaB, Nov 29, 2007.

  1. RebeccaB

    RebeccaB Registered User

    Nov 21, 2006
    11
    London
    Hello,

    I am Rebecca. I am 30 and my Dad is 70 and he was diagnosed with small vessel disease/vascular dementia just about a year ago.

    My Mum left my Dad about a year and a half ago [before he was diagnosed] as he was always a difficult person and was becoming worse as he got older ~ more controlling and aggressive towards her, life was miserable until she'd finally had enough and left for her own safety, sanity and happiness. I don't blame her.

    Though this means she's now out of the picture and myself and my sister [who is two years older than me] are left to care for my Dad on our own. He has no extended family and has alienated most, if not all, of his friends with his tempremental, controlling and aggressive behaviour. Myself and my sister both live in London and my Dad lives in Shropshire.

    This year has been a hellish rollercoaster of one crisis to the next with him. We really haven't known what's going to happen next. He had a bad car crash in January as he shouldn't really have been driving, it was getting more and more erratic and we aired our concerns to him, but he wouldn't listen. He had to go to court and had his license taken away. Though he lives in the middle of the countryside so it is difficult to get anywhere.....and there are many other things that have happened, which I won't bore you with.....but now his state of mind and ability to cope with even basic things seems to be deteriorating further.

    I think I am writing now because I feel we are facing a bit of an uphill struggle to sort things out for him and ensure he can live safely and comfortably.

    My sister and I haven't got much support apart from each other and going up to help him over the looming Christmas period feels a bit grim and isolated.

    I just thought I'd get back in touch, because last time I visited here people were so friendly, helpful and informative.

    I think I need help to help my Dad!

    Many thanks to anyone who reads this far.

    Best wishes to you all,

    Rebecca
     
  2. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi Rebecca
    Sorry you have had a rough time with dad.It's hard enough caring at home never mind from a distance.Perhaps it is time the social services were involved in your dads care.Maybe a care package could be arranged,to give you peace of mind that there is someone on hand when needed.It must be difficult for you and your sister trying to cope with this on your own.We all need help from time to time it's knowing where to get it sometimes.
    You will get support from TP,without a doubt.
    take care and keep posting
    elainex
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,854
    Kent
    Dear Rebecca.

    First you need to establish that your father would accept home help from SS, because if he is not prepared to accept help, there is little you can do. Perhaps then you could contact SS now, and ask what they can do to help him.

    It must be a terrible worry for you and your sister when you live so far away, but organizing help, if your father`s willing, would ,make life a bit easier. I just hope he will accept help.

    Sorry I can`t be more helpful. Someone else might have some better suggestions.

    Take care xx
     

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