I frightened myself tonight because for a moment I really wanted to kill my Mum.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Kittyann, Apr 27, 2015.

  1. alwaysfretting

    alwaysfretting Registered User

    Jan 1, 2015
    41
    I struggled with my mums sundowning for ages until someone told me about this aspect of the illness. Knowing has helped me to cope. It's often a time of day when we're left to cope alone which doesn't help. I agree with posters who have said maybe the gp or memory clinic could prescribe something for the agitation. I introduced mum to colouring books and it's been amazingly calming for her.we do it together whenever things need calming down.
     
  2. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    My Mum's GP did a home visit yesterday to look at her feet (very bad fungal infection caused mainly by her not showering :mad:) and I mentioned the sundowning. GP didn't know what I was talking about!

    Admittedly I'd never heard of it before I joined TP but I'm not a chuffin' GP!

    Luckily when we visited the Memory Clinic for her 6 month appointment on Tuesday the Dementia Practitioner DID know what I was talking about, obviously, and is looking into new meds which might help.

    I have not found the GP to be helpful at all. Sympathetic in a way (when I tell her the challenges I face she tips her head to the side and goes 'ah') but how does that help people like us? It's no wonder we get so frustrated and have dark feelings from time to time.
     
  3. JulieP

    JulieP Registered User

    Apr 25, 2015
    17
    Tamworth
    Hello KittyAnn, I agree with what everyone else has said, you did exactly the right thing to remove yourself from the situation but you should not blame yourself for feeling like that when the stress and pressure have been building up relentlessly over a long time. You need to arrange regular breaks for yourself somehow. Does your Mum go to Day Care? Perhaps it is something you could look into. My Mum is still her normal loving self but has no memory and no balance, thanks to AD, so she is totally dependent on me so the few hours she is at Day Care are a welcome break for us both.
    I hope your GP or Social Worker can find a way to give you some respite quickly.
     
  4. Van Nimwegen

    Van Nimwegen Registered User

    Apr 29, 2015
    7
    I had those feelings quite a lot in the last few weeks of looking after mum. That's when I knew I had come to the end of my tether. You can only do so much. Personally I feel when you get to that point, it may just be time for someone else to take over. Hugs.




     

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