uh… i’m back, it’s been a rough week.
mum went to the dentist and the dentist sent me photos of her mouth, and mum looking pretty… old weak,
it was confronting just seeing the thumbnails….
i hate seeing my mum like this, i find it shocking to see her so … vacant and unkempt …. never mind looking in her mouth which i would not really do!
then tonight she had rages and hit people, and they had to call the police and an ambulance…. i could hear her screaming and wailing….a sustained tantrum…. for you know an hour or so…
i got a text also this week… from one of her friends that described her visit back in february as “confronting”
i realised that was a good word for it. if it’s confronting for them, how do you think it is for me!?
im just visiting her once every few months, more to alleviate my guilt than anything. i could vis t all day every day and it wouldn’t really be enough for her…. she wants to live with me and “the family” her brothers and sisters she grew up with in ireland…. i can’t fix that…
even when she’s calm i find it freaky being around her, you know, seeing how much of her is missing. it’s not like on tv, when they are perfectly themselves giving you good advice, and then suddenly reboot and forget where they are… mum will never be her adult self again…
mum went to the dentist and the dentist sent me photos of her mouth, and mum looking pretty… old weak,
it was confronting just seeing the thumbnails….
i hate seeing my mum like this, i find it shocking to see her so … vacant and unkempt …. never mind looking in her mouth which i would not really do!
then tonight she had rages and hit people, and they had to call the police and an ambulance…. i could hear her screaming and wailing….a sustained tantrum…. for you know an hour or so…
i got a text also this week… from one of her friends that described her visit back in february as “confronting”
i realised that was a good word for it. if it’s confronting for them, how do you think it is for me!?
im just visiting her once every few months, more to alleviate my guilt than anything. i could vis t all day every day and it wouldn’t really be enough for her…. she wants to live with me and “the family” her brothers and sisters she grew up with in ireland…. i can’t fix that…
even when she’s calm i find it freaky being around her, you know, seeing how much of her is missing. it’s not like on tv, when they are perfectly themselves giving you good advice, and then suddenly reboot and forget where they are… mum will never be her adult self again…