i find mums ageing and alzheimer’s confronting, and uncomfortable

lushr

Registered User
Sep 25, 2020
192
0
uh… i’m back, it’s been a rough week.
mum went to the dentist and the dentist sent me photos of her mouth, and mum looking pretty… old weak,
it was confronting just seeing the thumbnails….
i hate seeing my mum like this, i find it shocking to see her so … vacant and unkempt …. never mind looking in her mouth which i would not really do!

then tonight she had rages and hit people, and they had to call the police and an ambulance…. i could hear her screaming and wailing….a sustained tantrum…. for you know an hour or so…

i got a text also this week… from one of her friends that described her visit back in february as “confronting”
i realised that was a good word for it. if it’s confronting for them, how do you think it is for me!?

im just visiting her once every few months, more to alleviate my guilt than anything. i could vis t all day every day and it wouldn’t really be enough for her…. she wants to live with me and “the family” her brothers and sisters she grew up with in ireland…. i can’t fix that…

even when she’s calm i find it freaky being around her, you know, seeing how much of her is missing. it’s not like on tv, when they are perfectly themselves giving you good advice, and then suddenly reboot and forget where they are… mum will never be her adult self again…
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @lushr, sorry it's been a rough week. I too find it so sad to see the woman my mother has now become as her dementia takes hold. At least she seems less distressed now and happyish in her care home, unlike the aggressive, confrontational person she was a few years ago.
I'm a bit puzzled as to why the dentist sent you pictures? Is this because your mum needs dental work and the dentist wants you to agree to it as her attorney for health and welfare. Mum lost her false teeth a few months ago, and she looked so much older and lost. Fortunately they were found again a few weeks later, though last time I visited she wasn't wearing her top denture as her gums were a bit sore. Hope something is done to improve your mum's dental hygiene that doesn't distress her too much.
 

lushr

Registered User
Sep 25, 2020
192
0
they were proving the work needed to be done and was done… like i care…. keep the photos for your own record thanks…

id already approved for her to do what needed to be done, i dunno why i had to, who would say no?