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I feel suffocated.

Clarice cliff

Registered User
Feb 15, 2019
11
I started to write this 10mins ago but as usual my husband who has Alzheimer's came in to complain about the noises again. This has been going on for 14months and I think will drive me insane. There is no noise but whatever I say makes no difference. He says it's the heating and often goes down in the night to turn it off setting the alarm off and then I have to get up and turn it off.
I have tried every which way to deal with this problem to no avail.
I'm told i don't know anything about how it works yet he is incapable of even switching the alarm off.
I had cancer last year finishing chemo just before Christmas so have been shielding for almost a year now and am beginning to feel suffocated. Sorry he's just been in again to complain about noises!
Friends phone me and he complains about how long I'm on the phone. Every call I get he hovers listening.
If I go in the garden he follows me,telling me what I should be doing or not doing.
If I have the radio on and leave the room for a few minutes he turns it off.
He complains about lights being on ,doors left open..it's driving me mad.
He's deaf but hardly ever wears his hearing aid so I can't have a proper conversation with him. Can't hear me when I'm sat near him but can hear these noises . When I say I can't hear anything tells me I'm deaf!
Sorry, I'm ranting but I feel so angry and resentful. No joy or happiness in our house any more.
 

Roseleigh

Registered User
Dec 26, 2016
322
Oh CC how awful for you! This "following one" is dreadful at the best of times and must be even worse since you are shielding and cant go out. Truly awful. My huband is in care now but frankly if I couldnt have got out for some 'me' space I would have gone absolutely nuts!

Do you tell him not to do this? For example when you are on the phone you have every right to privacy. If he didnt have AD youd tell him to go away, so you still retain a right to do that. Ultimately its better for the PWD too if you dont indulge every annoying behaviour as if youre happier you will be kinder and more patient to him.

Can you settle him to watch TV or listen to music so you get a breaK?
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
2,549
Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
Hi @Clarice cliff ,
My husband is unbearably clingy, too, which drives me mad. I often lose it and tell him I don't like his company. It is rude of me, I know, but my words don't seem to affect his behaviour in the least. Ten minutes later he has already forgotten about it.
Re the noises your OH says he can hear, might they be a kind of hallucinations? Or might they be tinnitus ?
 

Clarice cliff

Registered User
Feb 15, 2019
11
Yes Margherita he has got tinnitus but will not accept that he has.
I think what I find most annoying is the fact that I do just about everything in the house now but am told I know nothing in quite a condescending way.
I'm 69 and he is89 so I think it's how a man of his generation would think.
I'm lucky in that I have some great friends who have supported me through the last year but occasionally I do get down and need a rant!
Isolation hasn't helped and I do miss going for a s
 

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