1. Silver Lining

    Silver Lining Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    224
    My Husband is in a Care/Nursing Home and I have arranged to have some work done on our bungalow, its needed doing for a long time but he wouldn't let anyone into our Bungalow to do it despite him agreeing that the work needed doing saying it was his job. All our married life 48 years he has been the one to do anything in the house and was excellent DIY.

    I have enlisted various help etc but - I feel so sad as I know how upset he would be if he knew what I was doing.

    As if it wasn't bad enough that he is not enjoying his life not being here but I have so mixed up emotions over this.
     
  2. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,547
    Female
    England
    I know exactly how you feel. We have lived in the same house for 49 years and it bears no resemblance to the house we bought brand new those 49 years ago. My husband was great at DIY, there was nothing he could not do and was a perfectionist.

    During the 7 years he was at home living with dementia he lost all his abilities but like your husband believed he could still do everything and no one was going to come into the house. Consequently when he went into his nursing home I had builders, plumbers and electricians in to put our house back together. Garden walls had to be knocked down and rebuilt, repointing needed doing, the list went on. I too know how upset he would have been to know I had workmen in but how much sadder would he have been if I had let it go any further. He worked hard on the house and it was only right that I looked after what he had created.

    I too feel sad that as the garden is coming to life he is not here to sit in the sun and see it all. I have a list of jobs now that need attending to and once again I am looking for a plumber to look at the downstairs loo and a roofer to repair the roof where the high winds lifted a couple of tiles. It never ends.

    Take care
     
  3. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Know exactly how you both feel. Best wishes. xx
     
  4. Rashley

    Rashley Registered User

    Dec 21, 2014
    20
    Devon
    I know how you feel, best wishes.
     
  5. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello silver lining my hubby was a builder, we renovated 8 houses, he could do everything, now he can not do anything, l feel so sad that this is how he is now. Life is so cruel know how you feel.
     
  6. Silver Lining

    Silver Lining Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    224

    Thank you everyone for responding, only just back on-line tonight so have only just viewed your comments SL
     
  7. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    I've got oodles to do in this place. Hope I can finish it all. So hard when you're trying to care for your loved one as well.

    Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you
     
  8. Silver Lining

    Silver Lining Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    224
    :):)
     
  9. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    856
    WEST SUSSEX
    That rings a bell Silver Lining - my husband too would not let me have anyone here to put things right as he still believed "when he had time" he would get around to doing the jobs himself. Sadly it never happened but somehow I could not get started until after he died in January and now face extensive repair work to roof, chimney, ceilings, electrics, plumbing and so on before I can put the house up for sale. I am tackling the jungle but even that is almost too much for me these days. Don't feel too upset - your home has to be in good heart even if you are not. Loving thoughts WIFE
     
  10. Silver Lining

    Silver Lining Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    224
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.