Thanks everyone, I am considering sick leave as an option. It might force SS to sit up and listen to me. Its comforting to hear that other carers have been in the same position and come out the other side!
How far can I push Social Services? I met with dad's SW yesterday. My original intention was to get Dad into respite for four weeks (done - SS are paying an amount for two weeks, which Dad tops up and I am paying for two more weeks) so I can have a complete break. Then I was going to have a chat with the Care Home Manager about Dad moving into permanent care, we sell his property and use he £40k equity to fund care. But no, it's no that simple (it's never simple where SS are involved). Because the money from the sale of his house will run out within a year, it means the SS will have to pick up the bill after that, so they have to approve Dad going into permanent care NOW. I have to refuse to care for him, then they will offer him extra care at home or a care home, but it might not be the care home he is in now which is lovely and which he likes. Because he has no night care needs at present his SW told me they are more likely to try and care for him in his own home. Our local authority SS are millions in debt so they won't spend anything unless they really have to. I think this in unacceptable. They can't possible do everything that I do for him - shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, taking to appointments, banking, looking after his pets.....etc.....etc......I am so angry. I want to know how far I can push them. I just can't cope anymore.
Dad's blood tests show he has internal bleeding and he needs an urgent referral to a specialist next Weds then more tests. His GP suspects some form of gastrointestinal cancer. I am so worried and all this argy bargy with SS doesn't help. I cant pay his care home fees and I cant afford to give up work but my work is suffering. I am just about holding on to sanity. Any further advice re SS would be very helpful, thank you. I hear about some of you having to stamp and shout and scream to get what you need from them. I don't have the fight for that anymore, I've already tried it and lost. Why should I have to be pushed into a mental breakdown to get the help I am entitled to? Its a scandal.
Jane
How far can I push Social Services? I met with dad's SW yesterday. My original intention was to get Dad into respite for four weeks (done - SS are paying an amount for two weeks, which Dad tops up and I am paying for two more weeks) so I can have a complete break. Then I was going to have a chat with the Care Home Manager about Dad moving into permanent care, we sell his property and use he £40k equity to fund care. But no, it's no that simple (it's never simple where SS are involved). Because the money from the sale of his house will run out within a year, it means the SS will have to pick up the bill after that, so they have to approve Dad going into permanent care NOW. I have to refuse to care for him, then they will offer him extra care at home or a care home, but it might not be the care home he is in now which is lovely and which he likes. Because he has no night care needs at present his SW told me they are more likely to try and care for him in his own home. Our local authority SS are millions in debt so they won't spend anything unless they really have to. I think this in unacceptable. They can't possible do everything that I do for him - shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, taking to appointments, banking, looking after his pets.....etc.....etc......I am so angry. I want to know how far I can push them. I just can't cope anymore.
Dad's blood tests show he has internal bleeding and he needs an urgent referral to a specialist next Weds then more tests. His GP suspects some form of gastrointestinal cancer. I am so worried and all this argy bargy with SS doesn't help. I cant pay his care home fees and I cant afford to give up work but my work is suffering. I am just about holding on to sanity. Any further advice re SS would be very helpful, thank you. I hear about some of you having to stamp and shout and scream to get what you need from them. I don't have the fight for that anymore, I've already tried it and lost. Why should I have to be pushed into a mental breakdown to get the help I am entitled to? Its a scandal.
Jane