Hi all
I'm posting this, but not really looking for advice, I suppose I am just making a statement here to get it off my chest.
I have let my Dad down
After 'flu, a cold/chest infection and a kidney infection that landed me in hospital for two days all in the space of six weeks, plus carers who don't do what they are supposed to do for Dad on a fairly regular basis, leaving him undressed and unshaved on occasions and not carrying out instructions as to medical care, plus a full time job I can't give up, plus my anxiety, panic attacks, sleeplessness and a social services that just make things so difficult, I admit defeat. I can't take care of him anymore and I have no other family to help. I have no oil in my lamp anymore and life just isn't worth living like this.
He has moderate dementia and can't do much for himself. He is at home on his own and lonely since Mum died. I am too weak to cope anymore. I just feel really awful. I love him very much but he is taking up so much time and I am so upset to see him like this; three doctors appointments this week alone, food shopping, clothes washing, ironing, banking, bill paying, feeding his cats every day and tending to their vet care, fighting with SS to get the day care his GP has recommended but which they refuse to fund....... I have failed him because I can't do it anymore. I have to have the discussion with him about residential care. And I feel really guilty and bad and he isn't self funding so SS will be involved, which will make things much more complicated and stressful than they really need to be.
Sorry about posting this. Don't know why I am doing it really, perhaps I am hoping that someone will say 'there, there, it's not that bad' and then I'll stop feeling sorry for myself and pull myself together.
It seems a bit self indulgent to whine like this but I am tired of being tearful and upset all the time.
I'm posting this, but not really looking for advice, I suppose I am just making a statement here to get it off my chest.
I have let my Dad down
After 'flu, a cold/chest infection and a kidney infection that landed me in hospital for two days all in the space of six weeks, plus carers who don't do what they are supposed to do for Dad on a fairly regular basis, leaving him undressed and unshaved on occasions and not carrying out instructions as to medical care, plus a full time job I can't give up, plus my anxiety, panic attacks, sleeplessness and a social services that just make things so difficult, I admit defeat. I can't take care of him anymore and I have no other family to help. I have no oil in my lamp anymore and life just isn't worth living like this.
He has moderate dementia and can't do much for himself. He is at home on his own and lonely since Mum died. I am too weak to cope anymore. I just feel really awful. I love him very much but he is taking up so much time and I am so upset to see him like this; three doctors appointments this week alone, food shopping, clothes washing, ironing, banking, bill paying, feeding his cats every day and tending to their vet care, fighting with SS to get the day care his GP has recommended but which they refuse to fund....... I have failed him because I can't do it anymore. I have to have the discussion with him about residential care. And I feel really guilty and bad and he isn't self funding so SS will be involved, which will make things much more complicated and stressful than they really need to be.
Sorry about posting this. Don't know why I am doing it really, perhaps I am hoping that someone will say 'there, there, it's not that bad' and then I'll stop feeling sorry for myself and pull myself together.
It seems a bit self indulgent to whine like this but I am tired of being tearful and upset all the time.