Its crazy i know how life around me is, You know the genral grind work, go shopping the usual. But today i feel really really down and i would pay a million pound now just to pick up the phone and talk to mum about how im feeling. Leanne's off out tonight with the girls for a night out and i have the girls and i just feel like im alone in the universe while everyone is out partying im here stewing in my emotions and memories. Why do i feel so bad ??? I could cry my eyes out now.Im soft i know but i cant get away with this overwhelming feeling of mums illness in my mind all the time. Ive been feeling really low about myself too hating my appearance feeling ugly and horrible i often look into the mirror hating myself.I have two sell out shows next week in Leeds and Brighton and im dreading it. Am i going mad ???? I dont know one day i feel better the next my world falling apart. Mark.