Susan at the eye hospital yesterday has been diagnosed with a degenerative eye defect. She will I believe go blind. She is being registered as sight impaired.
When she has complained of not being able to see something I have said "oh we have the eye hospital soon and we can sort it out then." It's a lie. I can not.
It has not registered in her mind (thankfully) what is happening. I cannot tell her that as well as not understanding her world she will not see the flowers she
loves or the birds she likes to watch. I think of the film the miracle worker where the child does not understand his world. If we had gas in the house we could go together. Unfortunately we have to run on oil. I have decided not to post too much on here because I am bitter, and no-one on here needs to read the ramblings of a very bitter person. I feel calm, but sick. I am not even crying much. I aim to keep Susan at home, I want her to die in my arms at home. I am young and hopefully strong enough physically and mentally to carry on until the end.
I will read your postings and progress, and today my thoughts are with twink/sue - good luck and Maggie who talked to me about her lovely Gibraltar. Grannie and brucie and the other moderators who do a fine job on here. I will read the postings but I do not think I want to reply. Sorry.
cris
When she has complained of not being able to see something I have said "oh we have the eye hospital soon and we can sort it out then." It's a lie. I can not.
It has not registered in her mind (thankfully) what is happening. I cannot tell her that as well as not understanding her world she will not see the flowers she
loves or the birds she likes to watch. I think of the film the miracle worker where the child does not understand his world. If we had gas in the house we could go together. Unfortunately we have to run on oil. I have decided not to post too much on here because I am bitter, and no-one on here needs to read the ramblings of a very bitter person. I feel calm, but sick. I am not even crying much. I aim to keep Susan at home, I want her to die in my arms at home. I am young and hopefully strong enough physically and mentally to carry on until the end.
I will read your postings and progress, and today my thoughts are with twink/sue - good luck and Maggie who talked to me about her lovely Gibraltar. Grannie and brucie and the other moderators who do a fine job on here. I will read the postings but I do not think I want to reply. Sorry.
cris