My husband was estimated to last over Easter as he was deteriorating so quickly. He's still here having been fast tracked and I go every day. I went on Monday and he was so ill hardly taking fluids and puréed food. He has gone a yellow jaundice colour. I was so distressed I spent the following day under my duvet afraid to face the world. I went today for 3 hours and was convinced he was dying on me. I left him for two hours with a relative who gave him milk pudding and thickened drink! I'm home now but not coping at all. How long does this go on. I nursed mum in her last dying days and today was exactly like her. I feel I'll go crazy and can't cope. He has been in the home over two years and I'd say he is definitely dying. Help
I feel on the verge of a breakdown..
- Thread starter Billy's Girl
- Start date
I'm so very sorry that this is happening to you both, Billy's Girl. I have no words of wisdom but couldn't not reply. All i can do is send you a virtual hug, wishing it could be a real one. Could you visit with a friend or relative, so you don't have to face this alone? My heart goes out to you x
hello Billy's Girl
I too couldn't not reply, but I have no real advice; lots of sympathy
it's good that a relative is visiting your husband too - so someone else is with him at times
Maybe have a chat with the manager or a senior you get on well with and just tell them how you feel - they won't be upset or shocked and they may well be able to reassure you that all is being done for your husband and they will call you should they need to, so it's OK to take some time for yourself and stay home if you need to - there's no right or wrong in these circumstances, there's just whatever you need to do to see you through
sorry not to be any real help
best wishes
I too couldn't not reply, but I have no real advice; lots of sympathy
it's good that a relative is visiting your husband too - so someone else is with him at times
Maybe have a chat with the manager or a senior you get on well with and just tell them how you feel - they won't be upset or shocked and they may well be able to reassure you that all is being done for your husband and they will call you should they need to, so it's OK to take some time for yourself and stay home if you need to - there's no right or wrong in these circumstances, there's just whatever you need to do to see you through
sorry not to be any real help
best wishes
Hello there. Like others I have no real advice other than please speak to your doctor.
I just didn't want to read and run because I truelly understand how you feel. Whilst we may not be by your side we are with you through this awful time. You are not alone so please keep posting.
Just a huge virtual hug and there is always a shoulder, be it virtual, for you to lean against.
xx
I just didn't want to read and run because I truelly understand how you feel. Whilst we may not be by your side we are with you through this awful time. You are not alone so please keep posting.
Just a huge virtual hug and there is always a shoulder, be it virtual, for you to lean against.
xx
Thank you
I'm having a duvet day today as I feel exhausted. I will speak to the manager next time I'm there.
I'm having a duvet day today as I feel exhausted. I will speak to the manager next time I'm there.
Good to hear that you are having a day to yourself today to recharge your batteries. It's so important but something we tend to forget.
When it's your husband, I'm not surprised you're feeling like this. For the last week of my hubby's life, he fell again. I'd only visited the day before he fell and I could see how weak he was and wondered when I'd get 'that' phone call. I was an ostrich, backing away from it and refusing to follow through with the truth of it. I know how tough it is on us emotionally, and I do feel for you, Billy's Girl.
It's like everything, I guess. The question, how long is with all of us at various times for various reasons, and there is no set time. Even our precious care home carers didn't want to face what we all knew we were facing. They loved my husband like he was family. In fact, one of the girls there actually admitted it: "He IS family!" she said. And she meant every word of it. I love them all dearly for the care they gave both of us. For my husband? That fall knocked the rest of the stuffing out of him. I felt awful for the poor darling who ended up having to ring and tell me about it. Sometimes, it happens quickly, sometimes, it doesn't. All I can do is wish you all the courage you need and wrap my virtual arms around you.
If you need a friend, Billy's Girl, I'm more than willing to chat, any time, day or night.
Billy'sGirl,
You sound totally exhausted. I can understand how you have got to this stage. It is the rollercoaster ride that is so draining.
However, it may be worth your considering getting a check up. Just in case your iron or Vit B12 is low. Ask for both iron and ferrin to be checked. Another thought is Rescue Remedy. How just a few drops of herbs in alcohol helps but it does.
I do so hope you start finding some energy. Just take care of yourself in the meantime.
You sound totally exhausted. I can understand how you have got to this stage. It is the rollercoaster ride that is so draining.
However, it may be worth your considering getting a check up. Just in case your iron or Vit B12 is low. Ask for both iron and ferrin to be checked. Another thought is Rescue Remedy. How just a few drops of herbs in alcohol helps but it does.
I do so hope you start finding some energy. Just take care of yourself in the meantime.
