Oh dear!!! Such a bad day again. My MIL has been through the mill lately, thats fair enough to say. In the last 12 months first of all my FIL was admitted to a hospice placement, and he had a slow lingering death. He finally passed away in June. My MIL (diagnosed with Alzheimers about 5 years ago) seemed to do fine when we were taking her out every day to visit him, but obviously now he has passed away, although we still visit her (to take a meal every evening) we do not take her out every day and she seems to have deteriorated so much in a short period of time.
We have a care package so she gets carers in 3 times and we visit once every day. We are looking for a day centre placement to see if that helps too.
She hallucinates now and has to take medication to control both that and the paranoia she seems to suffer from amost daily, especially around teatime to 9pm.
My problem is that she confuses my husband (her son) as being "hers" and thinks I am "the other woman". This is not all the time, just at certain times of the day. It used to be a passing thing but is becoming more regular. She actually says she hates me. I know this is her illness talking but it can make life very difficult.
I do most of the "carers" role- I do her washing, cleaning, hospital visits, shopping, preparing her meals etc and I tend her ring her often during the day to check that she is okay and to provide some support so she knows we are there for her and just to hear another voice.
She did have a water infection last week and that made matters worse. We then had a couple of okay days but now again today she is back to screaming at me.
Am I doing the right thing in continuing to go and to ring often or should I keep away for a short period of time? Or will this just make things worse?
I feel so much for my poor husband too - she rings him and demands he "go home" and leaves me and goes back to live with her. He constantly has to explain that I am his wife and he hasnt lived at home with his mom for almost 30 years.
Anyone got any suggestions or coping strategies? Please?
Many thanks.
T
We have a care package so she gets carers in 3 times and we visit once every day. We are looking for a day centre placement to see if that helps too.
She hallucinates now and has to take medication to control both that and the paranoia she seems to suffer from amost daily, especially around teatime to 9pm.
My problem is that she confuses my husband (her son) as being "hers" and thinks I am "the other woman". This is not all the time, just at certain times of the day. It used to be a passing thing but is becoming more regular. She actually says she hates me. I know this is her illness talking but it can make life very difficult.
I do most of the "carers" role- I do her washing, cleaning, hospital visits, shopping, preparing her meals etc and I tend her ring her often during the day to check that she is okay and to provide some support so she knows we are there for her and just to hear another voice.
She did have a water infection last week and that made matters worse. We then had a couple of okay days but now again today she is back to screaming at me.
Am I doing the right thing in continuing to go and to ring often or should I keep away for a short period of time? Or will this just make things worse?
I feel so much for my poor husband too - she rings him and demands he "go home" and leaves me and goes back to live with her. He constantly has to explain that I am his wife and he hasnt lived at home with his mom for almost 30 years.
Anyone got any suggestions or coping strategies? Please?
Many thanks.
T
