1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

I feel like ive been kicked in the face.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by elwoodlpool, Apr 28, 2008.

  1. Hello all,

    My sister visited Mum last week and she sent me a picture and all i can say is she has the look of death on her face im so scared and i totally broke down as soon as i saw it. Its really got to me and i feel so bad. I have no other way of explaining how i feel other than i feel like ive been punched in the face. I would like peoples opinions on this as i dont know what to expect now.

    Mark
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Mark

    Photographs are a split second of someone's expression, often not a good representation at all.

    Seeing someone in a picture after you have not seen them for even a week when they have dementia is always going to be a challenge.

    Even now, seven years after my Jan left home for the last time to go into care, when I leave her she is with me, as vivacious as ever she was. Yet, when I look at her, she is not a bit like she was - but she is still Jan because there are fleeting expressions, and if I focus on an eye, an ear, a hand, well, they are still Jan. they simply don't hang together as well as they once did.

    If I take a picture, she is the least recognisable because I can't await an expression - I simply see a statement of her condition. It is a picture - it is not Jan.

    My way around this is to visit every time I possibly can to see her in the flesh, to renew my vision of her as she is now.

    A photograph - much as I love photography - is a misleading record.

    Please don't upset yourself by imagining things in photographs. When you can, visit Mum, and do so as if she is the same now as she was in the past.

    Not easy, but it comes, if you try. I'm sure you will agree, she deserves it, and so do you.

    best wishes
     
  3. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    A picture tell's a thousand stories

    Dear Elwoodpool
    Do not feel loss of hope, please.
    Other's on this site will help.
    LX BarbX
     
  4. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Dear Bruce

    Your love for Jan, well, I know.
    It is just LOVE.
    Barb& Ron
    PS
    You are a kind, and gentle man. And, also a good laugh:D
     

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