1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. number5

    number5 Registered User

    Jan 21, 2014
    1
    Hi, this is my first message, my husband is 63 years old, was diagnosed 4 years ago with early onset dementia with frontal lobe involvement probable alzheimers type, he hadn't been well for 3\4 years before this and had been put down to depression ( by myself) because he was going through a hostile business break up, eventually I went to his GP and said I was really concerned about his mental health, his GP dismissed this out of hand, it wasn't until he was coming round from a general anaesthetic 18months later and had a very peculiar reaction that any medical staff took any notice of my concerns, so after several meetings with a Neurologist, C T scan, MRI scan and a consultation with a Physiatrist we received the above diagnose.

    Now 4 years on, my husband wanders continually can't converse and is incontinent.

    Is there anyone out there in a similar situation,
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,566
    Female
    Scotland
    Not exactly the same but with the same degree of concern. This is a hard journey with few highs and to pretend otherwise would be dishonest. My best advice is to seek and take as much help as you can get from social services because your own energy levels will be depleted with caring and you have to watch your own health.

    Please come to TP to talk over issues as there are a lot of knowledgeable and helpful people here.

    Best wishes
     
  3. JigJog

    JigJog Registered User

    Nov 6, 2013
    241
    Hi number5,

    Yes I share some similarities. My husband is 64 and was diagnosed 2 years ago with Dementia probable Alzheimer's, though as it develops it is looking more like FTD. Again, with hindsight, symptoms had been developing for a long time before he was diagnosed.

    He is a wanderer too but in a driven way, if you know what I mean. He has to get out and walk each day. He walks 6 miles each morning; far faster than I could ever walk. On goes his SOS tracker and off he goes!

    He is becoming more withdrawn. He hates any social situation where he may have to speak to others. He chats a little to me but certainly not meaningful conversation; more just little comments which he says over and over again during the course of a day.

    He is having problems with bowel incontinence now too.

    I try really hard to make the most of each day, not easy but I try. I use the time when he goes for his walk to have some 'me' time. I search for opportunities to look after me; that's not being selfish but I know I am important too and need to be able to get through this.

    I do some free online courses to keep my mind occupied, just for half an hour at a time, while he plays Solitaire on his PC. I've done one on Forensic Science, another on Obesity and now I'm doing a course on Trauma and Memory in the First World War. :) I just do a bit each day and there's no pressure. You just do what you want at your own pace. It gives me something else to think about.

    I like reading TP and gain a lot of strength from it.

    Keep posting. Remember as Marion says, there are a lot of knowledgeable and helpful people on here. Personally, I don't know what I'd do without them all. :)

    Hang on in there. Don't give up. You've got a great support team here on TP.

    JJx
     
  4. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    apologies for taking this and asking JJ but I write fanfiction as my me time, but your course on Forensic Science, I would love to know where so I could do.

    I would have PM'd you but not sure how here
     
  5. Bill Owen

    Bill Owen Registered User

    Feb 17, 2014
    182
    BRIDGEND
    O/yes

    my wife has lewy body / only 62 / begun 4 years ago. Sorry im dislix so baer with me .no converes/ wander a round / poor in eating/ looks lost. I know whats its like vry hard be strong .
     
  6. JigJog

    JigJog Registered User

    Nov 6, 2013
    241


    Replied through PM Patsy :)
     
  7. tuffydawn

    tuffydawn Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    123
    hi i believe my partner has some form of fld noticed the change in him 4 years ago and it as gradually got worse he will not go to doctor for anything and at this stage i am much too frightened to drag him there as if they said there was nothing wrong i have no idea what i would do!!!!!! i am hanging on until i am sure they would diagnose it i feel for you a lot and fear my future how long does disease take to progress ?
     
  8. Mannie

    Mannie Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    115
    Bracknell area
    It sounds like you are not getting enough / the right kind of help. You need to visit your GP and discuss your feelings this is the correct way to get more help. One idea you could work towards is to arrange with help of social services is that you take less of a caring role so that you can go back to being his wife and make the very most of your time together. It sounds like the caring part of your role has taken all your energy which is out of balance.

    One thought about wandering is , when you get help from SS, you can get out and do more stuff. He won't wander or it will reduce, if he is occupied and is getting enough fresh air and exercise and mental stimulation that is what we found.
     

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