I feel like giving up.

number5

Registered User
Jan 21, 2014
1
Hi, this is my first message, my husband is 63 years old, was diagnosed 4 years ago with early onset dementia with frontal lobe involvement probable alzheimers type, he hadn't been well for 3\4 years before this and had been put down to depression ( by myself) because he was going through a hostile business break up, eventually I went to his GP and said I was really concerned about his mental health, his GP dismissed this out of hand, it wasn't until he was coming round from a general anaesthetic 18months later and had a very peculiar reaction that any medical staff took any notice of my concerns, so after several meetings with a Neurologist, C T scan, MRI scan and a consultation with a Physiatrist we received the above diagnose.

Now 4 years on, my husband wanders continually can't converse and is incontinent.

Is there anyone out there in a similar situation,
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,012
Scotland
Not exactly the same but with the same degree of concern. This is a hard journey with few highs and to pretend otherwise would be dishonest. My best advice is to seek and take as much help as you can get from social services because your own energy levels will be depleted with caring and you have to watch your own health.

Please come to TP to talk over issues as there are a lot of knowledgeable and helpful people here.

Best wishes
 

JigJog

Registered User
Nov 6, 2013
237
Hi number5,

Yes I share some similarities. My husband is 64 and was diagnosed 2 years ago with Dementia probable Alzheimer's, though as it develops it is looking more like FTD. Again, with hindsight, symptoms had been developing for a long time before he was diagnosed.

He is a wanderer too but in a driven way, if you know what I mean. He has to get out and walk each day. He walks 6 miles each morning; far faster than I could ever walk. On goes his SOS tracker and off he goes!

He is becoming more withdrawn. He hates any social situation where he may have to speak to others. He chats a little to me but certainly not meaningful conversation; more just little comments which he says over and over again during the course of a day.

He is having problems with bowel incontinence now too.

I try really hard to make the most of each day, not easy but I try. I use the time when he goes for his walk to have some 'me' time. I search for opportunities to look after me; that's not being selfish but I know I am important too and need to be able to get through this.

I do some free online courses to keep my mind occupied, just for half an hour at a time, while he plays Solitaire on his PC. I've done one on Forensic Science, another on Obesity and now I'm doing a course on Trauma and Memory in the First World War. :) I just do a bit each day and there's no pressure. You just do what you want at your own pace. It gives me something else to think about.

I like reading TP and gain a lot of strength from it.

Keep posting. Remember as Marion says, there are a lot of knowledgeable and helpful people on here. Personally, I don't know what I'd do without them all. :)

Hang on in there. Don't give up. You've got a great support team here on TP.

JJx
 

patsy56

Registered User
Jan 14, 2015
839
Fife Scotland
I try really hard to make the most of each day, not easy but I try.

I do some free online courses to keep my mind occupied, just for half an hour at a time, while he plays Solitaire on his PC. I've done one on Forensic Science, JJx
apologies for taking this and asking JJ but I write fanfiction as my me time, but your course on Forensic Science, I would love to know where so I could do.

I would have PM'd you but not sure how here
 

Bill Owen

Registered User
Feb 17, 2014
182
67
BRIDGEND
O/yes

hi, this is my first message, my husband is 63 years old, was diagnosed 4 years ago with early onset dementia with frontal lobe involvement probable alzheimers type, he hadn't been well for 3\4 years before this and had been put down to depression ( by myself) because he was going through a hostile business break up, eventually i went to his gp and said i was really concerned about his mental health, his gp dismissed this out of hand, it wasn't until he was coming round from a general anaesthetic 18months later and had a very peculiar reaction that any medical staff took any notice of my concerns, so after several meetings with a neurologist, c t scan, mri scan and a consultation with a physiatrist we received the above diagnose.

Now 4 years on, my husband wanders continually can't converse and is incontinent.

Is there anyone out there in a similar situation,
my wife has lewy body / only 62 / begun 4 years ago. Sorry im dislix so baer with me .no converes/ wander a round / poor in eating/ looks lost. I know whats its like vry hard be strong .
 

JigJog

Registered User
Nov 6, 2013
237
apologies for taking this and asking JJ but I write fanfiction as my me time, but your course on Forensic Science, I would love to know where so I could do.

I would have PM'd you but not sure how here


Replied through PM Patsy :)
 

tuffydawn

Registered User
Mar 30, 2015
123
Hi, this is my first message, my husband is 63 years old, was diagnosed 4 years ago with early onset dementia with frontal lobe involvement probable alzheimers type, he hadn't been well for 3\4 years before this and had been put down to depression ( by myself) because he was going through a hostile business break up, eventually I went to his GP and said I was really concerned about his mental health, his GP dismissed this out of hand, it wasn't until he was coming round from a general anaesthetic 18months later and had a very peculiar reaction that any medical staff took any notice of my concerns, so after several meetings with a Neurologist, C T scan, MRI scan and a consultation with a Physiatrist we received the above diagnose.

Now 4 years on, my husband wanders continually can't converse and is incontinent.

Is there anyone out there in a similar situation,
hi i believe my partner has some form of fld noticed the change in him 4 years ago and it as gradually got worse he will not go to doctor for anything and at this stage i am much too frightened to drag him there as if they said there was nothing wrong i have no idea what i would do!!!!!! i am hanging on until i am sure they would diagnose it i feel for you a lot and fear my future how long does disease take to progress ?
 

Mannie

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
116
Bracknell area
Hi, this is my first message, my husband is 63 years old, was diagnosed 4 years ago with early onset dementia with frontal lobe involvement probable alzheimers type, he hadn't been well for 3\4 years before this and had been put down to depression ( by myself) because he was going through a hostile business break up, eventually I went to his GP and said I was really concerned about his mental health, his GP dismissed this out of hand, it wasn't until he was coming round from a general anaesthetic 18months later and had a very peculiar reaction that any medical staff took any notice of my concerns, so after several meetings with a Neurologist, C T scan, MRI scan and a consultation with a Physiatrist we received the above diagnose.

Now 4 years on, my husband wanders continually can't converse and is incontinent.

Is there anyone out there in a similar situation,
It sounds like you are not getting enough / the right kind of help. You need to visit your GP and discuss your feelings this is the correct way to get more help. One idea you could work towards is to arrange with help of social services is that you take less of a caring role so that you can go back to being his wife and make the very most of your time together. It sounds like the caring part of your role has taken all your energy which is out of balance.

One thought about wandering is , when you get help from SS, you can get out and do more stuff. He won't wander or it will reduce, if he is occupied and is getting enough fresh air and exercise and mental stimulation that is what we found.