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I feel like a traiter

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by mumov4, Apr 23, 2015.

  1. mumov4

    mumov4 Registered User

    Apr 10, 2015
    8
    I care for my mum with alzheimers I also look after my brother with learning disabilities I also have 4 boys 2 of them are very difficult I'm finding it really hard at the moment. As mum is getting Harder to manage now .when she was first diagnosed I promised I would do the caring but I am one person and there only so many was I can split my time doctors have gave me social services no so I can get some support to maybe someone else going in to but I know when mum finds out she will be horrified just feel I'm letting her down
     
  2. Essie

    Essie Registered User

    Feb 11, 2015
    563
    Oh mumov4 of course you're not letting your Mum down, you are doing your best and that's all anyone can do. You're not Superwoman, you can't be in three places at once and you can't be awake 24 hours a day so instead of spreading yourself too thinly or driving yourself to a breakdown through exhaustion (and then you wouldn't be any use to any one...) you've very sensibly arranged the best you can - extra help for Mum to keep her safe and well looked after - now how is that letting her down?

    Well done for going to the GP and getting this sorted, you might even find Mum enjoys the carers going in, someone new to chat to... be positive about the changes to her and hopefully she'll pick up on that and be positive too. Good luck and don't be so hard yourself!
     
  3. Charlyparly

    Charlyparly Registered User

    Nov 26, 2006
    221
    Lancashire
    Not in any way, shape or form are you letting down your Mum by getting some extra support! Being full-time carer for a relative is the hardest job in the world to start with but given you're also the carer for your brother and have four children - I think it's safe to say you're long overdue. :)
     
  4. Bill Owen

    Bill Owen Registered User

    Feb 17, 2014
    182
    BRIDGEND
    A glass of wine

    once the day is over . And you got a bit of time to you self . Have a glass of wine. Big one has well.boy it help.
     
  5. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    Seriously honey, if I was having to deal with your situation I'd have been carted off in a strait jacket by now. If you keep going at this pace you won't be able to look after anyone properly.

    You might even find that having carers coming in stimulates her socially and helps a little. There will probably be a period of adjustment of course but you NEED help, you're not a machine!
     
  6. mumov4

    mumov4 Registered User

    Apr 10, 2015
    8
    Thank you for all the kind words of encouragement it's so good to have people to talk to it's nice to be able to speak to people who know what you are going through x
     
  7. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,992
    Suffolk
    Good grief, I have enough trouble with one, let alone six! Of course you're not letting your mum down, but get as much help as you can before you get Carers breakdown, you'll be no use to anyone then!
     

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